[emilyhelsley]

My boyfriend and I are both 20, on and off since we were 14. Last year, we switched to long-distance. He attends a military university in Vermont, I'm at UCSB. We hope to graduate, then marry.

Recently he has been feeling extremely guilty, I would be molding my life around his, sacrificing a lot. He is afraid that he won't make me happy and I will have wasted my life. I tell him I'm choosing to do this. He can't get past the guilt. Advice?

[Wondergirl]

It sounds to me more like he has cold feet and wants some freedom, knowing he will be traveling and experiencing new places and people. After all, you and he have been mostly only with each other since young teenage. Has he dated other girls and partied without you, sown his wild oats, so to speak?

[talaniman]

Pay attention, more here than I think you are seeing. I highly suggest a plan B, that allows you both independence, and understanding that his feelings about the future are changing as he explores life on its own. Long distance will do that, and you really need to be flexible and accept change as a part of life.

Of course you are both changing, but I think his guilt comes from doubt, that his future is not as set in stone as yours still is. Let him work through this himself, and just watch from a safe distance, so he can decide for himself if he is in this to win it.