[flyr1]

So here's the situation. I have been seeing a girl for about 4 years now (off and on), and it went well the first couple years. However, things got rocky and we broke up. We got back together last year, and then broke it off last May because she wanted to see other people. I did not talk to her until she texted me in December, telling me she missed me and that she's made mistakes and that she loves me and wanted to get back together. So I have been seeing her since then, and we have been trying to work out our problems.

After 3 months of talking, you'd think she would be calling me every day and trying to hang out with me as much as possible. However, she will send me maybe one text a day (if I'm lucky), and will call one time a week at most. She claims the lack of communication is because she is busy, but in other relationships I've been in, the girls call every day and want to see me at any time possible.

So this weekend we were supposed to hang out. She ended up getting sick, and yesterday she had something come up. I called her today to ask if we could hang out, and she said no because she has something to do this evening, and then proceeded to get upset and tell me that I need to back off and I shouldn't ask her to hang out so much.

Now, keep in mind she never asks me to hang out. I always have to do it. But her answer is always, "We will see, because I don't know what I'm doing that day". In my mind, I think we could still make plans, and just determine a time that works when she knows what she is doing that day. She, on the other hand, always ends up telling me that that day doesn't work, even though the thing she had to do will only take an hour or so, then ends up going home afterward.

I always used to buy her stuff, just teddy bears and little cards here and there. I even bought her flowers last week, which she didn't seem very appreciative for. She told me "you didn't have to do that". Which is another thing that makes me upset, because I know I don't have to do it. I want to, though, which is why I bought them in the first place.

Also, she doesn't like it when I ask what she did during the week (I don't ask specifics, I just think it shows I care when I ask how her week/weekend was). She never brings me around her friends, and I have actually never met them. She claims this is because they are outspoken, and I probably wouldn't like them.

Today, she told me she does everything I tell her to and she is trying to make an effort to communicate. Now, I don't tell her to do anything. I just request that she makes an effort to talk to me. She says she is "trying very hard", but I don't think I should have to ask that. I am a really laid back person, all I want out of a relationship is to know the other person genuinely wants to be with me, which I don't feel is the case in this situation.

I guess I was just wondering that if she wanted to get back with me, why she would not be contacting me or showing me that she wanted to see me. I have talked to her about this, and her response every time is, "I'm stressed out and I have a lot going on". In my mind, that doesn't seem right because you'd think that if she was stressed, she would want to talk to me about it. Instead, she just shuts me out. When I'm with her, she tells me she wants to eventually get married and that she loves me, and she even calls me babe sometimes. But that's only on days when she's happy. When she gets stressed out with her family or work, I won't hear from her for a week or so.

Am I being overly sensitive, or can someone give me a little insight on the situation?

[laymenwhitelace]

I'm sorry, but you have to know this... I just got out of a relationship like that. But I was in her place. I led him on. I didn't do it purposely. But now that I have thought about it, I just didn't know what I wanted. I also know it was wrong for me to do. But like I said, I didn't realize what I was doing. For me, he was my safe place, and which that sounds like what is going on here. I told me ex all the same things she says to you and that's to the "t"! So in the end... she does not know what she wants, you are her safe place because she knows you are always going to be there. (and of witch you are) So in her mind this is how she wants things. She just doesn't realize that she is hurting you. And even if you tell her, she is not going to care. She says that she does, (of course) but that's because she needs that safe place in her state of mind. But you will be better off ending now, before you get really hurt. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. But you need to do what will make you happy. I hope this helps you.

[talaniman]

You are the one going along with her crap, and listening to her BS!! You can stop it any time you want, and to be honest, I wouldn't have taken her back in the first place, no matter how much she missed me.

I mean how many times do you take her back after 4 yearss of this kind of crap? Once just wasn't enough was it?