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    pearleemomlove's Avatar
    pearleemomlove Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 4, 2012, 07:38 PM
    Experimentation
    My husband I have been kind of slowly experiment with different types of sexual pleasures. He is now wanting to try a cock ring. We went today and he bought one. At first it didn't bother me... but, then I got to thinking and he really doesn't do much of intercourse with me, until I am done (orgasm). So really what does he need one for? Should I be concerned? We were separated for about 3 months and when he came back home I found out that he had registered with all these different dating and sexual websites. This has me wondering... one of the reasons we were separated was I feel like he is cheating on me.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Apr 4, 2012, 08:27 PM
    I hope that the intercourse after you do your first orgasm may be just the start. You are having several?

    But the ring will help often make him last longer. Also depending on how it is made, and designed ( does it vibrate?) Does it have stimulation for you ? But can help you have additional orgasm by proper stimulation when having intercourse.

    Sex toys, can be an exciting world if you will allow yourself to get rid of accusing him of cheating ( wanting to use sex toys is for excitment) Go with him to the adult stores, find toys for everyone to enjoy. Creams, leather, feather dusters, all sorts of things to add enjoyment for both, some times perhaps more for him, sometimes more for you,
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Apr 5, 2012, 04:54 AM
    You must get over the suspicions before you can trust, relax, and enjoy his experiments with you. If all you have are web sites, (probably where he explores ideas) then your suspicions are unfounded.

    What prompted his leaving for 3 weeks?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Apr 5, 2012, 05:08 AM
    And I would post a warning about c*ck rings - I've seen the damage one can cause if used recklessly.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #5

    Apr 5, 2012, 07:06 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by pearleemomlove View Post
    My husband I have been kind of slowly experiment with different types of sexual pleasures. He is now wanting to try a cock ring. We went today and he bought one. At first it didn't bother me....but, then I got to thinking and he really doesn't do much of intercourse with me, until I am done (orgasm). So really what does he need one for? Should I be concerned? We were separated for about 3 months and when he came back home I found out that he had registered with all these different dating and sexual websites. This has me wondering.... one of the reasons we were separated was I feel like he is cheating on me.
    May I ask for some more background such as how old both of you are and how long you have been married? How experienced was he before you married? Does he have any health issues or is he on any medication?

    Have you wanted to experiment in the past and he didn't? Is he trying to give you more sexual attention than he has in the past?

    Why did you feel like he was cheating before the three month separation? Did you work through the issues before moving back in together or did you both try to ignore the problem?

    What were his views on 'erotica' before the separation? Since the separation has he been more open about sexual matters like sharing fantasies and what turns him on?

    If you haven't, I think you need to talk to him about the dating and sexual sites. Find out from him why he was looking at them. It could be as simple as he is learning to accept being open to sex. He may be learning how to put issues from the past about sexuality away to develop a better relationship with you.

    If you are not talking with him and listening to his thoughts, feelings and needs, I think you may be allowing your imagination to run wild. Imagination can be a wonderful tool for keeping a relationship from slipping into a rut but it can cause problems if not controlled. Instead of letting your imagination guide you, take control of it. Put your imagination to work with you and your husband to fix the damage already done to your marriage. Try not to allow it to reopen the cracks you both seem to be trying to patch up.

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