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Aquachx · Mar 23, 2012, 06:43 AM

My ex boyfriend and I broke up in January. Since then he has been back and fourth with wanting to be friends then saying its not a good idea and we should move on. In most cases he will just start ignoring me. He says he truly does want to be friends but he don't think I can handle it. I have been treating him like a friend so I'm confused why he keeps ignoring me. Is he actually confused? This time I've had enough and just stopped contacting him. I would like to know what everyone thinks though.

Cat1864 · Mar 23, 2012, 09:25 AM

Trying to be friends with an ex can be a major cause of confusion and false hope. End the confusion by continuing to ignore him. What you are doing now is called No Contact. It is a method of letting go and moving forward with you life by limiting the sources of confusion and false hope.

Getting rid of any contact information you have for him will help keep you from trying to get in touch with him. If he tries to contact you, ignore his calls, delete message, texts and emails without reading them. If he is a friend on an social site such as Facebook, de-friend him and do not look for his page. Give yourself time and space to let go and heal.

Best thing you can do is keep busy mentally and physically. Staying busy keeps you from thinking about him and what he is doing.

Live your life and have fun. Good luck.

Aquachx · Mar 23, 2012, 09:30 AM

Thanks for your reply. That's what I'm doing right now. I've deleted his number and don't plan on talking to him for a while. I'm just fed up. I wanted to clear up my confusion on if he is just confused or playing with me. What are the signs a man is confused. I've read a few things about when a man is just using or playing with you but they really don't apply.

Cat1864 · Mar 23, 2012, 09:43 AM

I'd guess confused. Unfortunately, confusion can be a form of 'playing.'

We get used to things being a certain way and it is hard to let go. He tries to be a 'friend' but knows that he isn't moving on. He tries to move on but falls back into old habits, realizes it and pulls back.

I don't think he is trying to play games.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 23, 2012, 09:49 AM

I agree, best to just stop contact with him, and it helps you move on, and will force him to get settled also

Aquachx · Mar 23, 2012, 10:07 AM

That's what I was thinking as well. I'm hoping we can be friends again some day. How long do you think I should give him... a Few months or just let him contact me if he wants to be friends? As of right now no contact is def the best thing for both of us to move on. We were friends for 16 years so him not being my friend in the long is hard to accept.

Cat1864 · Mar 23, 2012, 02:16 PM

As difficult as it seems right now, don't try to put a time-table on it. If you had a good friendship before dating then some day it will happen again. Trying to say 'how long' keeps it fresh in your mind.

If you have been friends for sixteen years, it is going to be difficult enough keeping yourself from focusing on all the reminders of the past.

Aquachx · Mar 23, 2012, 02:44 PM

Your absolutely right. I am trying to think and analyze this way too much. I need to completely let go and let things happen naturally. Thank you!

Aquachx · Mar 23, 2012, 02:45 PM

That And just focus on myself :)

Cat1864 · Mar 23, 2012, 03:00 PM

You seem to be fairly level-headed, but if you need more advice or ideas, we are here. Not only can you add to this thread, but you can also find information and help on a wide variety of topics.

Good luck. :)