[chrisc16]

My fiancée lets her 15 yr old girl smoke cigs and even buys and gives them to her and she's been doing this since she's been about 13,and she has a 18 yr old girl same story. The 18 yr old decided she would rather sleep until 10am instead of going to senior yr of school so she got a bogus online degree.

well I said she needs to get a job and become and learn responsibility, so she gets a job working about 4 days a week 2 hr shifts maybe twice a day so her job is about 15 hrs a week.she sleeps in every day does basically nothing to help around the house and complains to mom that I'm picking on her for expecting normal household chores be done and we also have about 3 acres of lawn/yard to take care of no help from either of the girls which is fine but I think they can help around inside the house. They actually just leave their pop cans, plates etc wherever.

the 18 yr old also has a bogus lawsuit going for a fake back injury in a car accident and thinks she's winning the lottery and the moms right in it with her,so this is why she thinks she don't need a job. I told the mom I have moral issues with this being this is the reason other decent folks insurance goes up because of scams like this (its a sore spot in our relationship).

the 18 yr old has through her teen yrs done the following: shoplifting, vandalism of public property, stole car, every drug around including household chemicals, drinking, stealing from us and her grandma, skipping school, getting kicked out of school, numerous fights, running away, making stuff up about me to the authorities, and her mom as well because she didn't want to follow rules.

OK sorry this is long but its all the truth/

the 16 yr old (just turned) who should be in 10th grade is kicked out of school (did it purposely so she didn't have to go), goes to alt school 2 hrs a days and spends the rest hanging out w 18/19 yr old guys, going to parties drinking, every day pot smoking and watching mtv is her life. Oh and has unprotected sex with these adult boys.

I am a alcoholic who does not drink (wanted to make my life better and fiancees' too) and set a good example for the kids. Their dad is a full blown alcoholic who has nothing to do with them. Well I have found numerous pipes, drug containers, cig plastic with pot residue, beer caps, booze bottles,and paraphenella around the house not to mention illegal knives, semi automatic pellet guns and pistols. They also brought 5 cats in the house and don't take care of them so whole house smells like zoo not counting the 2 dogs.

I left for a year and the 18 yr old convinced the mom their teen boyfriends should move in and they stole stuff, did drugs, drank had sex with both girls and destroyed things around the house. I come back under the pretenses she has the kids in order (she never told me about the teen boyfriends moving in and lied about every thing). Now the girls tell me they're running the house and they will make stuff up on me if they have rules. The mom does not say one thing to or about these kids behaviors.

the 16 yr old hits her mom and is verbally abusive when she don't get her way. This mom knows the 16 yr old drinks, does drugs, steals (recently got caught shoplifting) and I found someone's wallet in our barn with credit cards, asked the mom to return it. She threw it away? Didn't want the angels to get in trouble. She also lets the 16 yr old go out with 18/19 yr old guys fully knowing they're having unprotected sex and partying?

I am always made out to be the bad guy around the house over this behavior (im over reacting?) and the mom actually sides with the girls and acts like them (shes 48). Is this the norm for teen girls these days? My family is mad at me because I stay with my fiancée and they think this behavior is pure craziness let go on by a dyfunctional mom. The girls have the mom convinced I'm the problem because I try to practice morals and values in life.

is there any hope for my fiancée to see this life style isn't right the way she raising these 2?

[Fr_Chuck]

They are not going to change, you got what you got, and it is only going to get worst.

Expect to have the kids living with you till they are 50. Along with their kids when they start having them.

[smoothy]

There is no hope for your fiancée... shes a loser, and is raising other losers... be smart man get out while you can before she gets you to knock her up and keep her claws into the free ride you are helping provide.

There are plenty of women out there that AREN'T like this... don't let this one drag you down to her level like she's been doing. They are leeches on society. You see the problem... thus you are better than that.

[joypulv]

Who owns the house?
If she does, leave. If you rent, leave. If you own it, give them all 30 days notice to get out, in writing, followed by a trip down to the county court to file for eviction.
You are a softy, despite all your efforts.

[tickle]

I would have to say let the lot go to hell in a hand basket and you would be well to leave and not look back if you value your sanity. What do you find attractive about your fiancé now you have been living with this dysfunctional family?

Yes, is it your home ? Because I agree with others, evict them legally.

[DoulaLC]

This is an ongoing pattern and since she doesn't see anything wrong with, even encourages and supports it, it will not change. This is apparently the norm for these teen girls, but certainly not for most.

You have already seen that nothing you can say would make a difference. Your thoughts on the matter don't count. What you are living, is what you will continue to live if you stay because you can't change them. They would have to want that for themselves.

Consider these things:

1) What would you tell your brother or friend if they described the same situation to you?

2) You may love your fiancée, but that doesn't mean she is the best life partner for you.

3) Are you with her because you want to "save" her, you feel that she needs you, or because you feel obligated to her for some reason?