[daiannah]

I'm starting to have problems with my boyfriend because of his baby momma. We have been dating for about 2 years now. At first everything was great until he told me he had a daughter. Things changed a little bit after he told me. I felt like my relationship wasn't the same. I might of just felt a bit jealous with the fact knowing I wasn't going to be able to give him his first child and we weren't going to experience the same experience because he already knows how that feels. In my whole relationship she hasn't been part of the picture. Now all of the sudden she comes out of no where trying to have everything her way. To me that was like a slap in the face because I have always been there for my boyfriend and now just to try to do everything she wants to please her makes me quite upset.

Several of my friends know her and have told me she's not a good mom. She's 21 and all she thinks about is going out getting drunk messing around with different guys and spends all her money she works for on going out. She doesn't pay any rent she still lives with her parents doesn't aspire much doesn't really have bills and doesn't spend her money on her daughter. Her mom is the one taking care of the daughter. I currently live with my boyfriend have lots of bills hardly go out go to school and have a descent job and out of no where is asking my boyfriend that she needs money for her daughter and stuff when this whole time my boyfriend didn't exist to her and when the relationship ended she told him she wanted nothing to do with him and she was never going to ask anything from him.

Total opposite now that she sees all the stuff I have and could have been her is making my life a living hell. Calling him asking all his friends about him just trying to see what we are doing and stuff goes on my Facebook just to stalk me and what not. All my friends that know her tell me to tell my boyfriend not to give her money cause she doesn't spend it the daughter and she just uses it to go out and get drunk. She always brags how good of a mother she is for taking care of the daughter on her own when it isn't it even her taking care of her its her mom. And now she only comes around on the weekends always bugging my boyfriend she needs money for the daughter which is now going to be 6. She obviously just needs the money to go out. I feel like my boyfriend doesn't see that because he was in that relationship for 5 years and was deeply in love with her until she started cheating on him and started going out partying drinking doing drugs and what not. She didn't tell my boyfriend she was pregnant till she was almost 4 months and out of no where she told my boyfriend when he was trying to break up with her. She thought she was smart and could tie him down but it didn't work out like she wished it did.

Now, I'm stuck in a situation that its hard to deal with cause I barely have enough money to pay for all of my stuff for her to come and take money for what we work hard for. I know its my bfs responsibility but I get mad that she always gets her way one way or another why? Does he still have feelings for her? Friends have told me she's trying to break us up to get back with him. She's doing whatever possible to bother me. I sometimes feel like my boyfriend still has feelings for her since I was a long relationship and they have a daughter that bonds them together. But for all I know that might not be his daughter if she waited so long to tell him she was pregnant and why would she say it when he was about to break up with her? I need help? What shall I do? Am I wrong or am I in my right?

[talaniman]

Do you live together? For how long?

Sorry the only thing I see is how sloppy your man has handled his business. From being forth right and honest with you, to how he treats his daughter. Now he has no choice but to give her money, because she can take him to court, and get child support from him. Obviously he doesn't want that, nor does he want visitation or any other responsibilities.

She may well be the drunk who makes your life miserable, but he ain't the cats meow either. Not from what you have written, but you are highly prejudiced to him, and may fail to see that he could do a lot better handling his business, and responsibility.

What do you do about it? Protect yourself and your hard work, and try to get him to handle his business MUCH better, and stay out of their way as they solve things. He needs to go to court and get things in writing, so he can say NO to the BS!!

[Fr_Chuck]

He goes to court and gets visitation, it says when he picks up his child. It also says how much he pays each month, what she does with the money is not your business.

[siddo1691]

I understant how you feel... I'm actually going through the same thing with a close friend. My best advice is to talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel don't get all crazy but be honest with each other sometimes us girls do anything or deal with anything for love, and sometimes that's wrong because we want to help others and we forget we have feelings. Talk to him and tell him how you feel about it and that you will have his back but he has to move on and take care of his new relationship and he shouldn't et his baby momma treat him or expect something else like if they were dating.