Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    clyde55's Avatar
    clyde55 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 8, 2012, 03:36 PM
    Problem with 17 year old son drinking, and drugs, and mental abuse.
    My son 17 years old been drinking and drugs since he was about 14. Now he is mentally abusing my wife. They fight all the time, threatening her daily, she's scared what he might do.

    He gets good grades in school, but his drugs, and drinking is becoming a problem. He comes, and goes as he pleases. We have no control over him. He will be tuning 18 in a couple of months. We are afraid he going down the wrong path. Please help.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #2

    Mar 8, 2012, 03:51 PM
    In the past four years you have known that he has substance problems. Why is it seen now as a problem. Or, have there been any intervention types of actions taken prior to now. Has he seen counsellors, have you and your wife and your son talked to any school counsellors, or gone to any community resourses to learn about drug problems with teenagers, and how to cope/parent them?

    It is difficult to offer any advice without first knowing what has worked and what has not worked with your son already.

    Have you ruled out any mental health or physical problems through your family Doctor, or other type of professional after having him properly assessed?

    While you are worried for your wife, the immediate concern I have is for your son. I am hoping you can provide more information.
    clyde55's Avatar
    clyde55 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Mar 8, 2012, 04:25 PM
    Jake ,we moved back to our small city in pa. just about 7 months ago we lived in a large city in Florida for 9 years,in witch he was in and out of trouble ,so we decided to move back to our small town in witch we thought would be better for him but it turn out to be worst there seems to be more drugs and alohal abuse here since thers really not too much for a kid to do,he was in counselling in Florida ,now he is blaming us for bringing him back here,he saids he like doing it and nothing we do is going to change it,he saids he hates his mother,but its her that helps him out when gets in trouble,but now she in the prosess of moving out due to his anger against her
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Mar 8, 2012, 05:33 PM
    I don't envy you going through the teenage years. It is really a tough go for most of us.

    I would set up counselling again, absolutely. He has to learn how to control his anger, and accept responsibility. The drug use needs to be addressed, and I would suggest that you enquire about diversion programs available to help kids like your son, to make better choices, before they end up in jail.

    With summer coming on, tell him that he is expected to have a summer job. Offer to help him with his resume, and bring him around to places he wants to drop a resume in.

    Until he agrees to counselling, a medical checkup, and job searching, I would not be allowing him the use of the car. Have consequences in place if he does not comply. Whatever you come up with is still a lot easier than facing a jail term.

    There is a good chance that if he is buying drugs, he is likely selling drugs. At the very least, he's getting the money from somewhere. Has he also been stealing from home, or been in trouble before, with the law?

    Don't give up!! Once you have the support you need, and a plan in place, and stick to it, he will gradually stop fighting if it is a fight he is never going to win. Seek out any sources of support, including you and your wife seeing an addiction counsellor if they are available in your area, and get some guidance and advice on what to do- and the support to do it. There are many places and counsellors who offer programs, including group sessions with other parents, who are in exactly the same boat as you are.

    Speak to the school counsellor and find out what they know about his behaviour, attendance, etc. He may be getting good grades, but other areas may be troubling that the counsellors may know about, or have talked to him about.

    I am so happy you stopped in here for some encouragement and advice. I am hoping others will weigh in as well. Many of us have been where you are now.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Mar 8, 2012, 06:52 PM
    Pennsylvania Treatment Centers Home Page - Pennsylvania Drug Treatment Centers

    Pennsylvania, Intervention - Drug Rehab and Drug Program

    Get professional guidance from professionals.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

My 3 1/2 year old son is running a low fever and drinking liquids but not urinating? [ 1 Answers ]

My 3 1/2 year old son has been running a low grade fever for the past few days. He has been eating and drinking just fine but today he hasn't gone to the bathroom at all not sure what is going on.

Is this mental abuse when a father tries to turn a 5 year old against his mother ? [ 3 Answers ]

My son is five years old and I split from his father four years ago. We were sharing custody but after his father refused to bring him home, there was a few months where he did not see his son as I asked for him to sign a bit if paper saying that he shared time with our son. After seeking legal...

Can a 16 year old decide not to live with his parents due to mental abuse? [ 11 Answers ]

I had a family staying with me for 7 months there son wanted to stay till he turns 18 because he wants to stay near his high school and friends,His mom said yes now a few weeks later she changed her mind and is telling him she would rather see him in a foster home or in jail then with me and my...

Mental Abuse? [ 2 Answers ]

Let me explain why I am on here and a little about myself, I have been married for four years same man never cheated ever, We have a beautiful three year old she is my world, My husband has been accusing me of cheating on him since we first got together, which is something that I would never do and...

Mental abuse [ 4 Answers ]

I am very concerned. I have a 17 year old cousin who always talks to me about her father making her feel like she is not worth the air she breathes and that she is basically nothing. She has asked me what she needs to do but I really do not know what to tell her. She has tried to talk to her...


View more questions Search