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sad.mom · Mar 7, 2012, 11:01 PM

I got married in high school and pregnant. We both graduated, had our son. Then I got pregnant with our daughter, 6 mo along my husband after 3 yrs leaves me because marriage wasn't for him he says. I was heartbroken. We both gave our two kids to my mom and dad, I was to go into the marine corps like I always wanted to then after basic I was to get the kids back, my husband went his own way not having anything to do with them.so since he was into drugs I talked him into sighning his rights over and so did I. I had to do a complete adoption in order to go in the marines, a mother cannot have more than 2 dependents and I was still married at the time, so my mother promised me she would give them back,but when I came home from basi not finishing because I was so depressed after all that had happened she said no because she could support them better, so here I am me and my fiancŽ of 5 yrs with our 2 kids and his 3 from his ex wife. I go and see my kids at least once a week and have did that since I came home from the military but its not enough. I just did what I thought was right for my children at the time but now I live every day missing them I'm their mom I just want to love them and do things with them that I di with my other children.

Synnen · Mar 8, 2012, 02:33 AM

No, you can't get them back.

It's been YEARS since you signed your rights away!

How is taking them away from the stable home they have known for years in their best interests?

I know you love and miss them, but make the best of the time you DO have with them and understand that you did the best you could for them with the resources you had at the time.

ScottGem · Mar 8, 2012, 03:59 AM

Adoption is generally final. Unless there is wording in the agreement that opens up the possibility of returning parenthood to you, it is unlikely to have it reversed or overturned.

You need to consult an attorney to tell, but the odds are against it.

Your story is typical of teens who have sex before they are ready to have children.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 8, 2012, 06:57 AM

And after all these years, your MOM and DAD are their home, it would be wrong to try and take them back. But no, adoption is final.

JudyKayTee · Mar 8, 2012, 02:15 PM

I see fraud here - the children were adopted but you had a "side agreement" that it wasn't a "forever" adoption, your mother was just raising your children for a while and then she was going to hand them back to you?

That's fraud.

The other issue, of course, is handing children back and forth like possessions.

I think if you go to Court you'll have more problems than you have now.

ilovebubblegum2 · Mar 8, 2012, 03:56 PM

Adoption is final, so no you can't get them back.

Synnen · Mar 9, 2012, 07:46 PM

Judy--MOST open adoptions have a "side agreement", though it usually only has to do with contact and visitations. You can't legally make the "deals" that happen in open adoptions in most states. It's not necessarily fraud to agree upon visitation and contact issues at the time of an adoption.

The idea that it wasn't a "forever" adoption, however, makes me think that both sides were unaware of the true ramifications of a legal adoption.

Either way, it is unlikely that this adoption can be overturned.

JudyKayTee · Mar 10, 2012, 06:41 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

Judy--MOST open adoptions have a "side agreement", though it usually only has to do with contact and visitations. You can't legally make the "deals" that happen in open adoptions in most states. It's not necessarily fraud to agree upon visitation and contact issues at the time of an adoption.

The idea that it wasn't a "forever" adoption, however, makes me think that both sides were unaware of the true ramifications of a legal adoption.

Either way, it is unlikely that this adoption can be overturned.

I see a difference between an open adoption and agreements concerning contact/visitation/something else and an adoption in which the adopting party agrees to "give the kids back."

If I am reading this correctly the OP wanted to go into the Marines but had too many dependent children. Her mother adopted the child so that she would have fewer dependent children with an agreement that the child would be returned to the birth mother.

I think that's fraud. A minimum of two people swore that this was an adoption when, in fact, it was closer to a guardianship.

But I agree - it would appear that the OP, at least, did not understand the legal process.