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rockgal81 · Feb 23, 2012, 07:52 AM

My daughter is 8 years old. Her father has not been in her life at all. Back when she was a baby, I deployed to Iraq... while I was there, she stayed with her dads family, not him, his family. When I came back, I had her the whole time. When I deployed a second time, my parents had her. He lives in Alabama and my parents are in Florida. Not once did he come down to visit her. I've since gotten out of the military and moved to Florida. Back in 2009, we tried to have a relationship and he moved down here with me. I worked nights and found out that he was doing heroin while he was supposed to be taking care of her. He treated her like crap, completely ignoring her to the point where she had to beg him for food. I ended up finding solid proof of drug use and kicked him out. He was only living here for 2 weeks. He hasn't contacted her a single time since then. He has another son and a few months ago, had his parental rights terminated. Now, my question is, since he never signed the birth certificate, and he already lost rights to one child, should I petition for him to lose rights to my daughter or should I just leave it alone since he doesn't have rights anyway?

JudyKayTee · Feb 23, 2012, 07:55 AM

Did you read this? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-116098.html

You can keep him from seeing the child but I very highly doubt you can terminate his rights. And why would you if you could? Your child is entitled to be supported by both parents.

Get a support order. If he files for visitation and/or custody request that it be supervised or denied. PROVE he's a danger to the child, either mentally or physically.

I don't understand how he's "lost" rights to another child - that doesn't happen. Do you mean he was refused visitation, lost the "right" to visit with the child?

rockgal81 · Feb 23, 2012, 07:58 AM

No, his parental rights were terminated. His son's grandmother had custody of him. They went to court for 3 years with him trying to get visitation but never complied with the court orders. So, she filed for a tpr order and it was granted.

JudyKayTee · Feb 23, 2012, 08:16 AM

A tpr and termination are two different things. Did the grandmother get guardianship? That's a whole other thing -

I'm not minimizing your concern. I'm just trying to figure out what has happened and is happening here.

rockgal81 · Feb 23, 2012, 08:49 AM

A tpr is a termination of parental rights. He was deemed unfit due to his drug use and inability to comply with court orders. He hadn't had visitation for 3 years before this. The grandparents are adopting the little boy.

kcomissiong · Feb 23, 2012, 09:08 AM

Well the adoption would be the key factor here... a court rarely allows TPRs unless they are to facilitate an adoption.

JudyKayTee · Feb 23, 2012, 09:17 AM

I stand corrected on the TPR. I'm not familiar with the initials.

I am surprised that the father's rights were terminated UNLESS the child was in foster care or something else.

Well, apparently it can be done. Hopefully the termination was in Florida (which is where OP now lives) and she can follow in the footsteps of the mother of the other child.

kcomissiong · Feb 23, 2012, 09:34 AM

We don't have all of the info here, but from what the OP has shared, it sounds like the TPR was granted to allow the adoption by the grandparents. If both grandparents were adopting, then it would normally indicate that both parents have surrendered their rights. That works differently that trying to sever the rights of just one parent. With no stepparent to adopt, it is unlikely that the court will find it in the best interest of your child to terminate his rights.

Please read the info in THIS link. It provides a great deal of information about termination of rights in Florida, including one case where a voluntary termination was not allowed because it was not in the best interest of the child. Generally, leaving a child legally fatherless and you without the right to collect support on your child's behalf is not in their best interest. The courts will give him an opportunity to change, and from what I am reading, will only terminate if it is necessary to protect your child, or if he will be incarcerated for the majority of her life before she turns 18. At the very least, you will be well armed with information, and will know what steps you must take and what requirements you must meet to be successful.

JudyKayTee · Feb 23, 2012, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by rockgal81

A tpr is a termination of parental rights. He was deemed unfit due to his drug use and inability to comply with court orders. He hadn't had visitation for 3 years before this. The grandparents are adopting the little boy.

This is what I don't understand - he was using (that part I get). Failure to comply with Court Orders I don't understand IF "we" are talking about support and/or visitation. Or are "we" talking about some sort of criminal or civil Order?

He hadn't had visitation in 3 years - he didn't have the right to visit or he didn't exercise the right.

And then, where is the mother in all of this? Perhaps it was in the best interest of the child to sever the child from both the mother AND the father; thus, the termination.

I think too much is being left unsaid here to give a thorough answer. I also am reading that the "other" child lived in a State other than Florida so that State's law applied.

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