[threelittleboys]

My husband who I have been separated from 3 years has basically abandoned his boys. He pays very little support and has no contact with his kids. His kids last saw him when they were 4 and 7 so they know they have a dad who never calls and never picks them up although I never speak of him. I can tell this is affecting them emotionally and mentally but he just won't be a part of their lives. I want to believe its due to his new girlfriend who has kids so he's replaced his with hers just to not think he's heartless. I get paid very well and although consistent support would be nice to me enforcing a relationship with his kids is far more important. Especially with the hurt I see his absence has done. Can I enforce it? I live in Texas.

[ScottGem]

Unfortunately not. You cannot force a father to be a father. You can force him to support his children, but if he doesn't want contact with them there is nothing you can do to force it.

One thing you can try is to force him to pay for counseling so the children can deal with his emotional abandonment.

[imrachelsmommy]

Short answer NO and trying to do so will make you appear to be a control freak if he decides to take you to Court down the road. He will say "See! The reason I was not around is because she is a control freak! So now, so as to be away from her controlling behavior, I want sole custody!" Be very careful! You will know that he only wants to avoid paying child support, BUT the Courts are stupid and buy into this kind of "defense" all the time. I personally would back off, hard as that is, and let him go about self destructing his relationship with the kids all on his own. Its hard to watch them do this to the kids, I completely understand, but in the alternative it's better than giving him an "excuse" to possibly get sole custody down the road and then still ignore the kids. I am not an attorney and this is not legal advise. You need to consult a qualified attorney

[ScottGem]

, BUT the Courts are stupid and buy into this kind of "defense" all the time.

Do you have any proof of that? While it is certainly true that Family Courts sometimes make head scratching rulings, I would not make a generalized statement that they are "stupid" and don't see the facts.

You've just started here and while you have given some very good advice, a couple of your responses have been a bit off the wall. We take pride in the accuracy of what we post here so I would caution you against making blanket statements or generalities that you can't prove.

[Fr_Chuck]

A child visit order is only his right to visit, no his obligation. You can not force him to visit or be a "dad". You can and really should be forcing him to pay child support.