[sweeteneddoll]

I am not pregnant.

I am sixteen, and sexuality active (contemplating putting a stop to that).
I am trying to look into the legalities of the situation, but to keep things simple I will say my dad and I do not have a good relationship. My mother died a year and a half ago, though I never had much of a relationship with her, and my father and I live in the same house and are barely on speaking terms.

My dad isn't a nice man. For years he would tell me that I was a worthless b**** and that nobody would want me, that I was a failure and I would go no where in life. He would talk about him being 'god' in 'this house'. He trashed myself esteem on a daily basis and did a lot of damage that I am still trying to forget. Child protection services have been called on multiple occasions, and each time he tells them that I am crazy like my mother was (she was schizophrenic) and that I always mentally abuse him and treat him badly when I don't even talk to him unless it's necessary (and yes, I am polite).

What I am doing right now is trying hard to focus on my school work, and get into a good college so I can support myself and never have to take crap from him again.

Last year, I moved out for five months because of drama after mother's death (dad would burst into my room late at night to tell me it was all my fault and point out how, why and how I should just kill myself). He punched me, I ran for it. He said I was so disrespectful for running for it, and kicked me out. I soon moved back in and since then we don't talk to each other if we can help it, and he pretends to be some poor caring father who I disrespect so much.

That's the background.

My question, though, is based on the possibility of what might happen. I live in New Jersey, and were I to get pregnant, does my father have any rights on where I go or what I do with the child? I don't believe in abortion.

I am worried about what would happen to the child, because though I am on birth control and use other methods of protection as well, if I were to some how get pregnant I don't want my dad anywhere near the baby. He is however threatening that if I get pregnant he will send me to a group home and put the baby in an orphanage.

I am leaning towards telling my boyfriend of two years that if he isn't ready to take full responsibility, I am not going to have sexual intercourse with him anymore.

I don't want to introduce a child into an abusive environment.
I try to find a web site with explanations on the New Jersey lpregnancy laws for minors, but I can't seem to find anything about what the parents of the pregnant minor can do.

What can my dad do, and is there a way to prevent it?
I want to be prepared before I make a mistake.

Additional information: Dad easily turns the courts against me because I have a history of self harm, which I am almost a year clean of. I had really bad coping skills, but I have matured a lot in the past year and am learning how to handle life a lot better. If things aren't going his way legally, he just claims I'm crazy.

[asking]

This is not a legal opinion and I live in California (but I was married to a man similar to your dad) and I think he's blowing hot air, trying to scare you, as usual. I don't think he can take a baby from you. You would be the mother. If you did get pregnant, you'd be 17 by the time it was born, yes? But you would need to find another place to live, I think, if only for the safety of the baby. It would be nice if you could move out now, without being pregnant.

I think there are a lot of other reasons to avoid getting pregnant in your situation and maybe your plan to take a vacation from sex is a good one. You don't need an excuse if you feel like that's what you want right now. It's up to you, and really you don't have to come up with a reason... (if that's part of your thinking).

Isn't there somewhere else you could live? No relative, parents of friends? You shouldn't have to live with this person...

I'm impressed with your strength, but you shouldn't have to be this strong so young. You sound smart and sensible. I want for you to make it to college and blossom and overcome this man's abuse. I'm sorry your life is so hard right now. But it's good that you are thinking about things, trying to find a good path for yourself. You deserve so much better.

[ScottGem]

I am leaning towards telling my boyfriend of two years that if he isn't ready to take full responsibility, I am not going to have sexual intercourse with him anymore.

I've said the same thing many times. NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse until and unless they are emotionally and financially ready to have a child.

However, if you were to get pregnant your father could not force you to abort. Nort could he lock you away. He could however, kick you out.

I think you should try to get out now. Speak to a counselor at your school. Detail the emotional abuse and how it caused your suicide attempts. There is a good possibility, you can be placed in a foster situation until you are ready for college.

[Fr_Chuck]

While he is not suppose to, could he change the locks, and throw your clothes on the porch, yes happens everyday somewhere in the US.

[asking]

He could however, kick you out.

Can a parent kick out a minor without making arrangements for her care and protection?

I think you should try to get out now. Speak to a counselor at your school. Detail the emotional abuse and how it caused your suicide attempts. There is a good possibility, you can be placed in a foster situation until you are ready for college.

Yes. Also, here's an introduction to emancipation.
Emancipation of minors - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[stinawords]

[QUOTE=asking]Can a parent kick out a minor without making arrangements for her care and protection?

I took this as being what she said about him sending her to a group home like the op said which, yes he could do.

[JudyKayTee]

Can a parent kick out a minor without making arrangements for her care and protection?



Yes. Also, here's an introduction to emancipation.
Emancipation of minors - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This website is not particularly helpful - it is not nearly specific enough.

More info available if the State is posted. But I don't think emancipation is an option or the answer.

I am not being discouraging but in view of the fact that the OP has no employment, has a history of self hurting (although that's over a year old), depending on the State - I don't see her qualifying for emancipation. I know it's not right but the Courts would rather leave her where she is than take the chance she will need public assistance.

Perhaps there's a family member who will take her in. Maybe not. I don't know.

I would recommend stopping the sexual activity which is leading to this anxiety but I know that is difficult and perhaps unreal.

Sounds like OP as plans and goals - again, the sexual activity could ruin those.

I do not see emancipation playing a part in this. Removal from the home, yes. Emancipation, no.

[asking]

Emancipation, no.

Sorry. I was unclear. I was looking for information about when a parent can legally kick a child out of the home without making provisions for her. Parents often threaten this. I still don't understand what the laws are governing that.

Everything I found seemed to lead back to the question of legal emancipation, but that's usually about when a child can leave home because they want to, a different question. I think Sweeteneddoll's best bet would be to be with the family of a friend if someone like that exists.

She does not seem to have come back, however.

I apologize for speculating here. I am no legal expert by any means.

[JudyKayTee]

Sorry. I was unclear. I was looking for information about when a parent can legally kick a child out of the home without making provisions for her. Parents often threaten this. I still don't understand what the laws are governing that.

Everything I found seemed to lead back to the question of legal emancipation, but that's usually about when a child can leave home because they want to, a different question. I think Sweeteneddoll's best bet would be to be with the family of a friend if someone like that exists.

She does not seem to have come back, however.

I apologize for speculating here. I am no legal expert by any means.

No problem - emancipation is either the child WANTING to go and being emancipated AND meeting the criteria (which can be very strict) OR the child being declared a person in need of supervision (called different names in different States) and the Court determines that the parent is no longer responsible for the child (financially, emotionally, any other way) and sort of kicks the child loose.

I am just wary of websites - if the person posting the question couldn't find the answer online he/she just is usually unable to search through a website (even a recommended website) and find it there.

[liz28]

Recently I saw a mother kick her 15 year old daughter out. I felt sorry for her, her mother threw all her clothes on the sidewalk while cursing her out.

So, is it wrong for your dad to kick you out, yes but it's done.

I am glad to hear your not pregnant but it sounds like you plan on getting it. Note once you get pregnant you can even raise it, abort it or place it up for adoption. I not sure if you stated what state you live in but in a NY your parent can't make you abort, or place the child for adoption unless a court rules differently.

[cdad]

I agree with judy on this one but I do have a website for references now and in the future Im going to share. New Jersy has no emancipation laws within its state only opinions of the court.

Emancipation in the United States Fact Sheet at Juvenile Law Center

[stinawords]

Also, this isn't completely on topic but in my state and a few others that I know of a minor can't get an abortion with out a parents signature on the papers. I realize the op already said she wouldn't get an abortion but it can be handy to know sometimes.

[liz28]

Not to get off topic too but I don't think you need parents consent to get an abortion in NJ and in the states that require it usually the clinics help the teen fill out a "JUDICIAL BYPASS", and if granted the parents would never know.

[JudyKayTee]

I agree with judy on this one but I do have a website for references now and in the future Im going to share. New Jersy has no emancipation laws within its state only opinions of the court.

Emancipation in the United States Fact Sheet at Juvenile Law Center

Right, in this aspect NJ is very similar to Indiana, very similar laws -

"Stina" and I just covered this on another thread - what is required and why.