[circles102]

It seems like everything I do is wrong to other people. Especially this one person who actually tries his hardest to make me look stupid, and I'm not just paranoid, I've thought it through and through, looked at both sides and everything. I'm clinicly depressed. I'm incapacitated. My best friends left me. My newish friends left me. I can't concentrate in class. Everyone, and I mean everyone runs away from me, literally. I can't think of a reason to get up in the morning and I want to kill myself, it'l make everyone Else's lives better. Even my dog doesn't like me. Doesn't let me pet him. I cut myself, a lot. Only a few people know. Everything that I used to be interested in seems pointless and stupid.

The girl I love is falling for my sworn life long enemy. Were not as good friends as I want to be. She's doesn't see me the way I see her. I gave her a valentine last week, with a drawing of her on the front, and a letter reading "happy valentines day from, and my name". People made fun of me about it, saying "nice portrait, trace that picture off facebook?" I didn't. She didn't even look me in the eye when I gave it to her. I have messed up nightmeres,images of the girl I love screaming and wearing a skull mask. They all end with a black cloud drifting over my head accompanied by a feeling of dread, then I wake up. I have the power to kill myself but never get up to do it. I don't want to take any anti depressants, because I know how those work, and they would only fuel my ambition to commit suicide.

I don't know how to talk to people. There once was a person who really liked me, but I'm never going to see her ever aagain. I have three friends in total. I made a list of people not allowed in my funeral. I want to kill myself to see who else would show up. How people would react. If my tormentors would change because of it, but knowing them they would denie it and make it seem that they @eren't to blame.

Please help me, I'm aware of how aweful this is, my life is really turning wrong, I don't want to hurt myself, but I don't think there's any other way out.

[aberg0520]

Well listen, let's start with the suicide thing. Please, don't ever do that. It is not even worth it. Hell would gladly accept you if you do and it doesn't even compare to Earth. Just plain and simple, don't make it worse like that.
Look, you are NOT pathetic. Those people who poke fun at you are the losers.
My best friend was litteraly in the same position you are in. Even the deal with the girl. He tells me he felt like he only person in the world who cared at one point was me.
Cling to those friends. People do care.
When Dimitri was in that situation I barely knew him. Now, as I said, we are best friends!
Look! Stick it out! That's what he did and still does! Don't ever think you at pathetic. You know you're good at something. Don't lie to yourself. You are a human being. You are more durable than you think.
You know what? I'm guessing you're in high school. Look: you can just get a fresh start OK? Move somewhere. Florida. Come to Florida.
Things will change. Have faith.

[circles102]

Yeah I'm in high school, and weird, I wanted to go to Florida, I don't personaly believe in heaven or hell, not really religious, it doesn't matter what I'm good at, my tormentors make me look like I don't know anything to everyone else, so when other people don't believe in me, I can't go anywhere.