[Mrt1993]

Ok here's my situation I had an ex who I was with for nearly 2 years she left me for another guy, I felt my life fall apart over night, I even moved to the other end of the country to get away from her and she won't stop messaging me on Facebook an just generally trying to contact me. I've explained that as long as she's with this other guy I don't want her contacting me as the whole situations making me very deppressed. I want her back as I love her and can't get her out of my head but she just won't stop and its getting ridiculous. Any suggestions?

[Cat1864]

Block her and de-friend her.

She can't contact you if you take away the methods she has been using.

If you recognize the phone number, don't answer and delete any messages un-heard or read. Don't keep her as a friend on Facebook. If you have to don't look at the pages of mutual friends. Ask friends not to tell you anything about what she is doing or to refrain from passing on any messages.

Right now it might not feel like you can get her out of your head, but you can. Get involved in your new life and limit your contact with the old one. Give yourself time to heal and permission to let the past and her go. It takes time and it takes accepting that the past is memories that should be put away.

How are you doing on learning about your new location and making friends? Better use of your time and energy than wanting a person with questionable boundary setting skills back.

Stop letting her use you to make herself feel better. That is what she is doing. That and keeping you on her string. Value yourself more than to be her back up plan. Wanting her back if she leaves 'him' is giving yourself false hope and it is not allowing you to heal and move forward. Take a long hard look at her and her actions. Try not to kid yourself that you could ever trust her again. Reality hurts, but facing it is a part of healing.

Good luck.

[tarandev]

She still has feelings for you just because she left you for someone else doesn't mean she didn't make a mistake

[geminichick]

Cat's advice was spot dead on.

Whenever your ex contacts you ignore her. Don't respond to her messages. Block her so she can't message you. Use call block so she can't call you. The no contact rule is put in place for our own sanity. So we can move on with our lives. It does hurt but it is necessary for you to heal. She moved on with her life and she should not be contacting you. Period!

If you find yourself thinking about her find things to do to keep yourself busy. Do things you enjoy doing... do things with your friends. If you have a honest and loyal friend to talk to and share your ups and downs and how you are feeling... is also a good idea. Eating healthy and being or staying physically active is a great way to ward off depression and you will also feel good.

Good luck! All the best!