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    bogard85's Avatar
    bogard85 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 3, 2012, 02:46 PM
    7 year relationship / engaged - broke up - need help
    My fiancŽ and I have been dating for 7 years. We were supposed to get married in April of 2013. She decided about 3 weeks ago we need a break. She said that the relationship was causing too much pressure on her and that she fears that we both hold each other back from things. After about 2 weeks of the break she decided its best to go our separate ways. She gave me the ring back and told me we shouldn't talk anymore. To me personally it felt like out of the blue. I was to consumed in myself that I didn't notice how she was feeling until it was to late. She feels I'm not self supportive enough and lack confidence in my job. She feels I need to be more confident and learn how to grow up and do things on my own. I own my own condo and I thought I did a lot on my own but now I realize a lot of things get handed to me and she felt like during the relationship she was to worried about taking care of me that she lost herself.

    This has been the hardest 3 weeks of my life going from talking to her and seeing her daily to not speaking with her at all. The thought of her ever being with anyone else is killing me inside. I know people say when its over its over but all I can do is hope one day she realizes this wasn't the correct way to solve this. I know I should be active and find myself in all this. Discover new hobbies etc. But all I can find myself doing is numbing the pain with booze. I also find myself waking up early and not being able to fall back asleep due to her.

    I'm assuming she has been thinking of doing this for a while but I was to dumb to see it and our communication wasn't as good as I wished. With that being said I'm afraid I lost her forever and I'm totally demoralized and depressed beyond words. The whole relationship I always heard friends and family say things like what's she doing with you hahaha. I always just shrugged it off and didn't think much of it but now that I think about it they were right. I got way to comfortable and never thought she would leave me no matter what. Boy was I wrong.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jan 4, 2012, 09:20 PM
    Yep, you were wrong and now you have to heal, and move on. At least you got the ring back.

    Takes time.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #3

    Jan 5, 2012, 02:56 AM
    You're going through a detox and that I s painful.

    The alcohol isn't helping so cut that out and get busy.

    D o things even if you have to force yourself to do them.

    See friends and family and k n o w that this will pass with time.
    boywonder55's Avatar
    boywonder55 Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Jan 28, 2012, 09:16 PM
    I went through the same sort of thing and quickly got into another relationship... BOY was I wrong with that move!! I say, we all need time to heal an open wound by surrounding yourself with positive people. Friends and family that were closely involved in your relationship might not be the best people around during this time. Take the time to seek out things that will keep you busy and happy. Hobbies that you did before this relationship can quickly help you find yourself again. Look into volunteering centered around helping others, it helps!!

    And, now the booze... I found myself relying on the bottle and the friends associated with the bottle. The final result was being broke in the pocket book and also still broken hearted. It's good to go out and have a good time but is it really worth it to drink to an ex? That's what she might want but I don't think that's what she deserves... All this will pass in time if dealt with immediately BUT you have to desire to feel better.

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