[mamaof2boys]

I am at my wits end today! Here's my situation. I have 3 boys, ages 6, 4 and 18 months. My oldest is mildly autistic, my middle is so strong willed and no form of discipline phases him, my youngest, thankfully, is pretty perfect. My husband is opening a new restaurant but to prepare has been working out of state for 3 months. I also work a part time job. And now we found out a month ago we are expecting again which was not planned at all as I was on birth control. I feel like I'm losing it! My kids are acting out because their dad is not here. I feel like they don't listen to me at all. There are times I want to scream at them or lock the door and run away for a day. They are good boys, high energy of course. But lately I just feel like things are out of control. Sometimes I think "God, why on earth are you giving me a 4th child. I can't even control the ones I have." Luckily my husband will be home within a month but once he returns he will be working long hours while he opens the restaurant. Any suggestions on how to stay calm with them? How to get control of the situation? Just getting my feelings out makes me feel a little better as I am very frustrated today. But any advice is welcome. Thank you!

[DoulaLC]

Oh, I feel for you! Had similar ages with my 4... :) Very hectic at times, but loads of fun. A few things that may help, and I know others will have more to share with you!

Find quiet activities to engage them in... puzzles, blocks, books, coloring, sticker books, playdough (make it together!), pop in a favorite DVD once in awhile, legos, dance, etc. If you have a place where this is feasible, you could paint part of a wall with the chalkboard paint and let them have a giant chalkboard. Any chance of getting the oldest or older two in some sort of sporting type activity for burning extra energy? Maybe your local Y or recreation center.

Enlist that help of any friends and family. If close by, maybe a relative could take one or two out now and then. Some one on one time with a family member can be a real treat and it is surprising how just one less child in the mix can change things.

Schedule playdates where one or both of the older two at someone else's house for a bit. Or go over as well so at least you have grown-up company at the same time.

Have an activity they can work towards. Playing with blocks or legos quietly for 20 minutes and then you will make playdough together, or fingerpainting with chocolate pudding, or making things with craft items, for example. Or they help you fold laundry (towels anyway) or dust, or anything for awhile and then you do something fun together. You can find many activity ideas online that can be used as a once in awhile treat.

Any young person in the neighborhood who you could pay a bit to come over and help as a mother's helper?

Sometimes it can help to have a set schedule for the day... with a bit of flexibility. Eat breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, read books or work puzzles, snack, movie or TV show, go for a walk, build a fort with chairs and sheets, legos, blocks, etc. quiet coloring or other activities, naps?? snack, clean together, play, dinner, bath, stories, bedtime. Whatever would work in your household, but sometimes having a somewhat regular schedule can cut down a bit on the chaos.