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purples · Jan 20, 2012, 07:56 PM

When ever he goes home to see his family, and children from his first marriage, he pushes me away... why?

J_9 · Jan 20, 2012, 09:02 PM

Wow, this is so vague it's near impossible to give you a proper response. We are not mind readers, we need details to help you.

talaniman · Jan 20, 2012, 09:49 PM

Have you talked about it? What does he say? Please more info.

purples · Jan 20, 2012, 11:35 PM

Why is it ever time he goes home to see is family and children from ex wife marriage.. He pushes me way stop talking for days and even texting me too... But when he is done visit his family he wants every thing to do with me.. he says he loves me but he acts this way when he is with his family.. Help me

talaniman · Jan 21, 2012, 08:02 AM

Have you asked him why?

purples · Jan 21, 2012, 08:09 AM

I asked him he said he was busy. When he is with me, he doesn't say I love you to me, or say it back, when I say it to him.

I met him five month ago and he and have been talking about marriages and living together some day but every time he goes home to see his family and kids he pushes me way.. he is a truck driver and is always on the road and every six weeks he goes to se his family and kids.. when he does this he stops talking to me and texting me.. I have asked him why he stops texting me and his reponce is I turned off my phone or I was too busy to text or call u back... when he return from seeing his family.. he act like there is nothing wrong... he says he is sorry for being busy each time he ruturns from seeing his family.. please help

I don't know what to do

Posts merged and edited/T

talaniman · Jan 21, 2012, 12:32 PM

Thanks for more information. I think for now, as you get to know, and trust this new stranger in your life, you slow down your demands a bit, and be less needy, and less insecure, less dependent on his attention.

Having said that, I think its quite reasonable for him to make time for a brief call, or text, so you know he thinks of you, or misses you. That's mostly what you want, BUT that he doesn't is the very reason I think you slow down, and pay attention, as 5 months is much to soon to be carried away by your own feelings, over sweet words, and high hopes. 5 months is far to early to know if this fellow deserves your heart, or knows what to do with it.

Take a few steps back, and pay attention, not just to your heart, but your brain as well, because to be honest, its your own heart you should be protecting. Let him chase you. He isn't pushing you away, he is taking you for granted it appears to me. That's not healthy right now.

If his words, and actions don't match, then you better beware. If you are doing all the work, you are to available, and agreeable to his program. Protect yourself first, and see what happens.

purples · Jan 21, 2012, 06:00 PM

Thank u

How do I play hard to get with my man? How do I drive him crazy about me

Fr_Chuck · Jan 21, 2012, 08:46 PM

Your post has been moved, since it relates to the entire post.

Your other posts have been deleted as duplicate posts.

purples · Jan 21, 2012, 08:49 PM

How do I play hard to get

Fr_Chuck · Jan 21, 2012, 08:50 PM

It sounds as if you have known him 5 months, and he comes home only every 4 to 6 weeks, so you have seen him in real life a day or two every month for 5 months.

Sorry, but you have no way to know that he is not still "at home" with his family, doing the babies daddy thing with the momma, or that he does not have two or three ladies like you around the country where he drives.

Sorry but you are talking marriage, and I bet, ( may be wrong) he is talking how fast he can get to the bedroom?

So play hard to get, no sex when he visits, just talk, get to know each other.

talaniman · Jan 21, 2012, 09:09 PM

No need to play hard to get, just don't give the milk away until you know a lot MORE about this stranger.

I mean so far he has walked right in and taken over your whole life, and what do you have to show for it?

PROTECT YOURSELF, forget making him want you, that's like giving a kid more candy.

PunkkBarbiee · Jan 23, 2012, 11:10 AM

Well, you can pretend to not care. Or use it against him. Like, for instance, you can get all pretty and put on some tight jeans and a revealing shirt and say that you're going to visit YOUR family and not answer the phone when he calls you 'cause, you know, you're 'too busy'. You can also buy sexier clothes and wear them whenever he's around, but not let him get some. If you know what I mean.

Xoxo.
PunkkBarbiee.

Cat1864 · Jan 23, 2012, 11:49 AM

Don't play games. "Hard to get" and "Tit-for-Tat" are games that can ultimately ruin relationships. They cause and promote insecurity and jealousy. They do not build strong foundations. Instead they act like jack-hammers pounding away at the smallest cracks and making them bigger.

If you have to play games to get his attention, then he isn't interested in you. If you feel the need to play games, then you aren't interested in him. What you both are looking for is drama. Drama is not a good foundation for a relationship. Makes for a great plot device in movies or books, but in reality it only causes problems if that is all that is holding you together as a couple.

Communicating about needs and expectations and setting boundaries in a relationship is not playing games. It is working together as a couple to build a future if there is one.

You have known this man for five months. Other than promises of rainbows and happily ever after, what do you really know about him? How old is he? How long was he married? How long has he been divorced? Where is his legal residence? Have you met any of his friends and family? Does he ever have custody of his children like for certain holidays or the Summer?