[slk123]

[kcomissiong]

I don't know, since you provided no information about the relationship or what caused the problems. If you use the orange answer button on this thread to provide information, then we can try to help you.

[talaniman]

What's the problem you are healing from, and how old are you both? A lot more info please.

[slk123]

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!

I fell in love with a man very quickly and he was going to move in with me very soon after we began dating. He also said he never married because he did not find the right one and explained he always said would know the right because he will marry her in 6 months and proceeded to count down how long it would be until we got married.

He involved himself in my family life as well. His father passed away 2 months into the relationship and all of a sudden he no longer knew what he felt for me. I tried to be his friend but unfortunately I am in love with him and did push on what I wanted. The result is disaster and he will no longer speak with me.

When we began talking he explained that at the age of 43 he has never, ever been in love. He has dated seriously for 3 years out of his entire life and has no children and never been married. I am a very loving and gentle woman and I have not changed one bit over the course of our relationship - it was he that suddenly changed. Went from wonderful physical and emotional intimacy to he was never attracted to me and does not want me to talk to him ever again and now he wants the things back that he gave to me. He asked me to meet him with the gifts he bought me to return them the next day and at the time I agreed. I cried myself to sleep all night and changed my mind texting him that I was too angry to talk and I had better things to do with my mind.

I did not want him to know I had been crying all night. His response was I had my chance, I blew it and to never contact him again. I REALLY would hate to lose even the friendship part that he wanted to hang on to and I simply do not know what to do.

Oh, I am 44.

[talaniman]

Thank you for the info, it helps a lot, but sorry to say I don't see any healing going on, and think that some time apart, honoring his wishes to be left alone is what's needed to proceed with your own healing.

Never been in love? Still isn't, and its rude, and immature to ask for gifts back. I feel you can do better, after a proper healing, and will be glad you dodged this bullet.

Sorry, still sucks I know, but break ups always do. BUT, don't be stuck on such a fellow as this.

[slk123]

Thank you for your answer. The problem is I know there was something very strong between us. I think that all to often people DO give up on relationships and I am not willing to do this. If he was cheating or abusive, even if we were not compatible I would easily let go. I AM going to leave him alone for a time but I DO want to send an apology for hurting his feelings. I am thinking of waiting a few weeks until we both simmer down...

[talaniman]

Letting the emotional dust settle is a great idea, however, I think he owes you the apology, but don't think you should hold your breath for it, or chase him to apologize. This cannot be all you, he should do his part too, if he is willing, without your influence. Then its real, and not all YOU.

You need to know he is willing, given all that's gone on, and act according to FACTS, and not just feelings.

Good Luck.

[slk123]

Actually I am not really looking for an apology from him. I want to apologize TO him for the mean and spiteful things I said to him. I simply want to begin as friends again.

Your advice is wonderful. May I let you know how it goes in a few weeks.