[berry80]

I have been with my husband for 11 years been married 4. I don't know what his problem is but he is always accusing me of cheating. When we were only together for a couple of years we got into an argument and I went to my moms. He spent the weekend with another girl he made me believe that it was because I told him we were done and I went to my moms. I would have thought after a couple of years you would have more feeling for someone then to just throw it away. Then a few years had past and we finally separated so I thought I got my own place he would always come over but I had a boyfriend and he kept begging me to come back so I did. Then a couple more years past and we ended up getting married. The next year he seen that I was talking to some old boyfriends/classmates from high school on Facebook an started a fight with me and kicked me out. At that time he moved my best friend maid of honor in and I had found out she and him was sleeping together now this (ex) BFF of mine used to do everything with us trips and more. So to conclude my story. We have two kids and everything is in our name I am going to school full time and I don't know what to do sometimes I want a divorce and sometimes I feel like I still love him. But I just had a dream that he was trying to strangled me in my sleep what does this mean? I've left a few times and keep coming back. Last time even after what he did to me I begged him to let me come back. He is also very abusive mentally. Not saying that I'm perfect.

[tickle]

I have been with my husband for 11 years been married 4. I don't know what his problem is but he is always accusing me of cheating. When we was only together for a couple of years we got into an argument and I went to my moms. He spent the weekend with another girl he made me believe that it was because I told him we was done and I went to my moms. I would have thought after a couple of years you would have more feeling for someone then to just throw it away. Then a few years had past and we finally separated so I thought I got my own place he would always come over but I had a boyfriend and he kept begging me to come back so I did. Then a couple more years past and we ended up getting married. The next year he seen that I was talking to some old boyfriends/classmates from high school on facebook an started a fight with me and kicked me out. At that time he moved my best friend maid of honor in and I had found out she and him was sleeping together now this (ex) BFF of mine used to do everything with us trips and more. So to conclude my story. We have two kids and everything is in our name I am going to school full time and I don't know what to do sometimes I want a divorce and sometimes I feel like I still love him. But I just had a dream that he was trying to strangled me in my sleep what does this mean? I've left a few times and keep coming back. Last time even after what he did to me I begged him to let me come back. He is also very abusive mentally. Not saying that I'm perfect.

I am always reluctant to suggest a marriage counsellor, so won't suggest one here because your fellow seems to have some dire control issues to deal with, and possibly because he is mentally abusive. I would not put any credence in your dream, it was only because you are in an upsetting state of mind.

I guess he feels he has you where he wants you because you 'begged him to take you back'. Now he will play on that forever and I can't imagine him reacting to a wake up call from how you describe HIS cheating ways, which are entirely unnaccepable.

You have two children together, you I hope have your health, but if he is sleeping around you certainly don't want any serious STDs to compromise your body, so I would suggest you think seriously about moving out with your children. Possibly to a women's shelter until you absolutely decide on a way to deal with this unsatisfactory partner of yours.

[berry80]

That's the thing my kids don't want to leave there home they want daddy to leave and counseling has already been done and we didn't get any where I really don't want to leave the home my friend has offered us a place to stay. I just need to convince my kids some how and also I tried calling a states attorney ad they said we have to be separated before they will give me advice. Another thing is every time I leave I feel like he is OK with it or he will lure me back and I don't know if it is because I still love him or if it is because I am being manipulated to feel this way. How do I figure it out? Thanks so much for your help!

[JudyKayTee]

You don't need to convince your kids of anything. You need to keep yourself AND them safe. If that involves leaving, then it involves leaving.

Even if he leaves can you afford your present housing by yourself?

I would also decide 100% what you want - this leaving and coming back and leaving and coming back is not helping anyone.

- And, yes, he's abusive. He sleeps with other women and it's your fault? Ridiculous.