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    clynnhamm's Avatar
    clynnhamm Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 26, 2011, 11:17 AM
    Long history of infidelity
    My husband and I are splitting up for the second time in 2 years. Since 2008 he has been posting on craigslist for women who will give him oral sex, chatting with and even meeting some of these women. Every time, he says he is sorry and wants me to stay, he loves me, etc... but I have lost all faith and trust in him. We have both been in and out of counseling over the years. Now his current counselor believes he is a sex addict. He has a Sex Addicts Anonymous sponsor that he is to report to every day and he says he is truly working on his addiction but I don't believe him. We have two young daughters and he wants to split custody of them. I am feeling really guilty about leaving him because of the children and I wish I didn't because its really complicating things. I want my girls to be safe and happy, but I have not been happy for a long long time. Help!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Dec 26, 2011, 11:22 AM
    Sorry, don't allow him to let you have guilt, he has lost all trust and all he does is use. He says what he wants or expects you to hear.

    You split up and get primary custody of the kids in court if you can.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #3

    Dec 26, 2011, 11:37 AM
    I say leave. That gives you "breathing room" and gives him a chance to show his true colors - he'll either recover (if you believe it's an addiction) or he won't. You'll be out of the pressure.

    My other concern is his sexual contact with other women - anything he "catches" from them he brings home to you, and you have two young children to worry about.

    I've posted this before - I'm an investigator in NY. I work matrimonial surveillances. There are cheaters who cheat once, either confess or get caught, feel TERRIBLE, never cheat again. Then there are those who cheat... and cheat... and cheat. I've had people (mostly men) attempt to explain to me why oral sex isn't "real sex" and, therefore, isn't cheating. I don't buy it, but...

    I think you have a serial cheater on your hands.
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