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UncommonFlower · Dec 19, 2011, 06:25 AM

Hi all
I was in love , he confessed me the same.. I hurt him and left the country. After 4 years I called him and hurt him even more. ( I know that what I did wasn't nice). Tried to call again but he doesn't communicate- either refuses to pick up the phone , rejects the call or picks up and listens and then puts phone down or if I start to speak he hungs on me.Now realising after even more years that I still into him I decided to appologise to him and get to him.
He isn't married, and dates casually (I did my survey, lives in poorer country than me ( am from same country but left for Uk), he is 11 years older than me.
I look good and I want him back. Is there any chance for me?

Curlyben · Dec 19, 2011, 06:45 AM

You hurt him TWICE and you're wondering why he doesn't want anything to do with you!

UncommonFlower · Dec 19, 2011, 08:38 AM

Yes I hurt him but only now I was wandering if I apologise from all my heart speaking really sincerelly ( only now I understood that how wanderfull he really is: I was still sending over the years insultung messages and didn't received not even one bad word from him- and he isn't loser either.I know all this and Im ready for everything do you guys think he WOULD be able to forgive.

Curlyben · Dec 19, 2011, 08:41 AM

I was still sending over the years insultung messages and didn't received not even one bad word from him

He's most likely sent them ALL to trash and ignored them, hence his reactions now.

Seriously you need to stop obsessing over this person as you have virtually NO hope with any kind of relationship with them.
What would YOU do if YOU had been treated in this manner?

UncommonFlower · Dec 19, 2011, 11:45 AM

If I loved him I would forgive but only after I saw that he is honestly regretting for what he's done. And mean HONESTLY REGRETTING. People change and the one who sinned mostly and being forgiven, loves most faithfully than the one who did no harm and has nothing to regret about...

Thanks for your answers by the way.
Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year!

talaniman · Dec 19, 2011, 03:34 PM

OMG, leave this fellow alone, you have done enough bad things to him, so let him find his own happiness, without any more of your selfish, bad behavior.

Homegirl 50 · Dec 19, 2011, 05:00 PM

I suggest you leave this guy alone and move on. He has no intention of getting involved with you again. He has learned his lesson.

UncommonFlower · Dec 20, 2011, 03:39 PM

When we on the phone , he can guess what I wanted to say and says back to me loudly. Then he likes to observing me being surprised at how did he guessed. If I was angry at him and in my mind I told him 'f off' , guess what?: he would stop talking suddenly and he would start saying something that I would melt- his voice drives me crazy ( and he knows that). With that he teaches me not to swear.
Does anybody of you understand what am talking about here? Until he says to me to stop calling which please God don't, or until he asks me to leave me wchich also please God dont- I will not move, because the connection we share is way too deep.

talaniman · Dec 20, 2011, 03:48 PM

Good luck then, since you think he is the guy for you. I wish you much happiness.

UncommonFlower · Dec 20, 2011, 03:50 PM

I bet some of you have no idea what am talking about here but if you do then judging by your coments you all are very sad people having been gone through heartache and being dumped by the loved one which give rise to your character trait which may easy let replace real feeling with something what is more comphortable for you but not real..

talaniman · Dec 20, 2011, 04:14 PM

Please, many of us have been through a lot worse, and thrived and survived, and since you asked we told you how it was done.

Don't blame anyone but yourself because you are stuck on this fellow, and are confused. You think by waiting he will be back? You think accepting his behavior will bring him back? Since you do, then just keep doing what you are doing. But don't blame others for not agreeing with you, since many have been in this same situation, and do understand that waiting for some one to come back, and receiving crumbs and false hope was a path to continued confusion, and misery. They chose to end that situation because they believed they could do better, and they DID!

But if you have what you want, sweet words but no action... GO FOR IT!

UncommonFlower · Apr 20, 2012, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by UncommonFlower

Hi all
I was in love , he confessed me the same.. I hurt him and left the country. After 4 years I called him and hurt him even more. ( I know that what I did wasn't nice). Tried to call again but he doesn't communicate- either refuses to pick up the phone , rejects the call or picks up and listens and then puts phone down or if I start to speak he hungs on me.Now realising after even more years that I still into him I decided to appologise to him and get to him.
He isn't married, and dates casually (i did my survey, lives in poorer country than me ( am from same country but left for Uk), he is 11 years older than me.
I look good and I want him back. Is there any chance for me?

To everyone who answered my question- I met him ( I flew back to my home country, called him and we met) and we talked about everything basically.. ( I was nicely surprised when he said the reason for not picking the phone was his 'anxiety I might never return for a real talk but instead leave him and forget about all that happened- if I knew the reason I would make with him up 9 years ago)).
Everything would be amazingly great and as in the fairy tale ending -'... and they lived happily ever after', but worst part is- MY FEELINGS FOR HIM VANISHED AS SOON AS I MET HIM AGAIN. Just flew back after spending time with him and I do not even think about him anymore, even cannot force myself to be friends with him- I do not know why, but please DO NOT BOTHER ANSWERING BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW AND ANALYSE THIS,- IT WOULD BE PAINFUL TO ME. So disappointing!!