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Miss Sparkle · Jan 8, 2008, 08:41 AM

I'm thinking of emailing my ex boyfriend to see if we could try our relationship one more time. My friends are mostly telling me to forget him, but I can't without knowing if there's still a chance for us.
If I don't ask il never know, what should I do?
Im scared

Romefalls19 · Jan 8, 2008, 08:49 AM

I have a few questions...

1. How old are the both of you?
2. How long were you together?
3. How long have you guys been broken up?
4. What was the reason for the break up?

Miss Sparkle · Jan 8, 2008, 08:59 AM

1. I'm 19, he's 20
2.we were together 16 months
3.we've been apart for nearly 3 months
4.he said he couldn't commit and he's not good enough for me

ISneezeFunny · Jan 8, 2008, 09:00 AM

Well. Need more info.

How long were you two together before? Was it good? Why'd you guys break up? How'd you guys break up? How long have you two been broken up? Is there someone else in the picture for either of you?

ISneezeFunny · Jan 8, 2008, 09:00 AM

Damn. A little late.

Hope you know the whole "i can't commit" and "i'm not good enough for you" is the male version of "i need more time" and "i have to wash my hair"

Romefalls19 · Jan 8, 2008, 09:05 AM

I don't think I would so much e-mail him to ask for another chance, does he ever make any contact with you? You don't want to come off as desperate and I fear that's how he would take it if you e-mailed him asking for another chance. And to go along with ISneezeFunny.. I can't commit sometimes also means... I can't commit to you

DMBacoustic · Jan 8, 2008, 09:22 AM

Rome and ISneeze are right. If the right person comes along, no matter who you are you will be ready to commit if that opportunity comes along. If you HAVE to ask so it clears you're head, maybe you shouldn't email him JUST to ask him that. Im sure you could figure out a way to just talk to him and gradually find this out.

ISneezeFunny · Jan 8, 2008, 09:40 AM

You can ask. But don't expect anything. By asking, you could put yourself back to day 1 of the breakup if he doesn't say what you want to hear...

In fact, he could even tell you that he's with someone else. Are you ready to hear that?

DMBacoustic · Jan 8, 2008, 10:12 AM

That is true, even though 3 months has passed, getting something you didn't want to hear could put you back into day one. Besides if he is wondering the same thing I'm sure he would approach you about it. It really depends on who did the breaking up. If he broke up with you DO NOT ask him that. If that's the case it was his decision to end it, so don't waste anymore of your time on him. Live life for yourself.

talaniman · Jan 8, 2008, 10:17 AM

Quit jumping from guy to guy, and back again.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2257022

Get yourself together, and enjoy being single, and happy for a change. You don't need a man for that, but you do need to love yourself, more than you do and see what your doing to yourself.

ISneezeFunny · Jan 8, 2008, 10:18 AM

Damn. Tal's the new sheriff in town.

Romefalls19 · Jan 8, 2008, 10:21 AM

He has a point though... Sometimes you need that one person to give that tough love. It opens your eyes and you think... Wow... I should follow that advice... And what was I thinking

Rockstar714 · Jan 8, 2008, 10:27 AM

Your friends are right. And so are all the people that posted before me. When a guy says "I can't commit" or "I'm not ready for a relationship" just add 'with you' at the end, and you'll get the real meaning.
You really should move on. If he said that he wasn't good enough for you, inyour head you should've said "you're right" and moved on, just like he did. Don't give him the time of day. Don't email him on his birthday, just let it go and find someone that actually deserves you.

thisisjo · Jan 8, 2008, 11:06 AM

I say do what you feel is right. If you feel you want to be with him now and you can't move on.. If he is willing to try again try again. If it all goes wrong at least you will know and then it will be easier to move on ?x

mafiaangel180 · Jan 8, 2008, 11:35 AM

He told you he couldn't commit and wasn't good enough. So why after 3 months do you think he magically can commit? Have you noticed that he has worked on himself, fixed any major issues, and has become a changed man? Save yourself some dignity and get on with your life. Stay away from men for a while. You need to love yourself... just because you're single doesn't mean you're unloveable or are any less of a human being. So go enjoy some "me" time. Good luck.

chrislyn · Jan 8, 2008, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by Miss Sparkle

im thinking of emailing my ex boyfriend to see if we could try our relationship one more time. My friends are mostly telling me to forget him, but i can't without knowing if theres still a chance for us.
if i dont ask il never know, wat should i do?
Im scared

I know how you feel, really I do but I would not do it. If he says yes are you sure you really want him, be very very sure, or do you want to try to get over him and find someone who is better for you? But if he says no you are further back then before you emailed him and have to start a healing process all over. Let him come to you. I didn't and pursued my ex. It didn't work and he ended up saying I convinced him to be with me. That hurt even more then when we broke up

Miss Sparkle · Jan 9, 2008, 06:19 AM

It's so difficult.
But if I go ahead with it, I'm fully prepared to be rejected.
It would just be good to get out my feelings and leave it at that I think.
I have got good things going on in my life at the mo.
Ive been short listed for miss hertfordshire 2008
I have a new job working with kids
But the problem is, I need affection, I think most people do.
I understand you all telling me to enjoy being single but I've never enjoyed being single

Romefalls19 · Jan 9, 2008, 06:25 AM

That's your problem right there Sparkle... While you say you want your ex, at this point in time you would take anyone, just to kill the lonliness. Believe when I say, I know how you feel. I was with my ex 2 and half years and now that she's gone.. It's like a part of you in gone. But before you can be back into a healthy relationship you must first be happy being by yourself. Are you going to miss that special someone by your side. Of course but you will be content with it.

Miss Sparkle · Jan 9, 2008, 06:36 AM

Oh its not that, I miss him. I went out with a guy recently but dumped him because he wasn't right for me, so its not the fact that I don't want to to be lonely.

talaniman · Jan 9, 2008, 06:37 AM

But the problem is, I need affection, I think most people do.
I understand you all telling me to enjoy being single but I've never enjoyed being single

You don't need the kind of affection your getting do you?? It has lead you to a lot of confusion, and jumping from man to man. Is that what you want? You don't need affection, you want it, we all do. First you must love yourself enough to be a lot more choosy where you get it from, and how you get it. If you don't you will be used, and left behind.