[itchybaconbits]

First of all, I know the answer to this is probably obvious to most people... I know what I'm feeling isn't logical but please hear it out.

So I was dating a guy and we very recently broke up. I'm in college, he's not, and it's been hard for us to make it work. We met before I left for school and everything was awesome. For a while everything was fine and when we were together I was the happiest I've ever been. When we weren't physically together it was like my life didn't even matter to him. Long story short, we broke up and he realized how much he's hurt me over the course of our relationship. I've given him so many chances but he blows them every time. It's like he's incapable of being a good boyfriend to me. He says he really cares about me and needs me, then hurts me again without even realizing it. The other day he blew his last chance. I was having a hard time and asking him for help. Instead of taking any time out of his busy day to support me, all he did was tell me how he's too busy for this. The next day we talked and I told him how his actions the previous day really hurt me and I'd had enough. He didn't believe he did anything wrong, and now he's the one who's breaking it off. "We should just be friends" I told him I'd make no contact with him. It's been a couple days without contact and I realize how much I miss having him. I don't want to be in a relationship with him, but he was all I had. Now that it's gone I feel so empty. I know he's an *******, I know he'll just keep treating me bad, but I really don't want to be alone. I know I shouldn't contact him but I just miss having in my life. I really want to say something to him, to tell him I want him in my life. Am I just clinging on to something that's completely pointless? What should I do?

[odinn7]

You should save yourself and forget about him. Sounds like it's hard to do but it is the best thing for you. You yourself said he didn't care about you or if he hurt you. Do you really need a guy like that? No, of course not.

Right now I think you're more worried about being alone than you are about not having this bum in your life. Just go no contact with him, do things with friends and family to keep active so you're not sitting around thinking about him, and just live your life. Soon, things will work out and you'll find someone that treats you the way you should be treated.

Good luck to you.

[talaniman]

Yes, you are clinging on to something out of fear and insecurity. If you contact him, then the same hurts will return, and the insanity continues.

Yes, its hard to stop that kind of thinking, and not giving into impulsive behavior that will surely bite you in the butt big time, so may I suggest getting with some friends, or family for support during what's a very hard time for you?

And read the stickies, to give you reasons to fight the feelings that are driving you wacky.

Get answers about Relationships

And read the stories here of the ones who keep giving into the feelings, and end up feeling worse.

[dam577]

Yeah --- it sounds like he is either emotionally immature and not ready for a ltr or isn't interested in one with you...

I know for me if I like a girl but know I'm not interested in something serious, I don't really want to deal with drama on their end. I just can't be available for it. Only for the right person am I there always and sensitive. Not saying that's right or good, its just the way I am. If I'm in love with a girl I really don't care how much drama she has coming my way ---- however short of being in love with someone I don't want to hear a lot of drama.