[specialk28]

I have been seeing someone sexually for about a year. It started as an intense intellectual connection which after close to a year became sexual(he was married at the time). We have continued this for nearly a year now and everything which had initially attracted us to each other doesn't seem to exist. We barely speak when we "get together" and have openly expressed a lack of respect to one another. I don't necessarily care if he finds someone else and he doesn't seem to either, except when he sees another man in my company. Initially we would get together once a month over the last two months we have seen each other at least once or twice a week. I have never experienced anything like this and am a bit confused on what and why this is going on. Why doesn't he or I just find someone else? Anyone have any experience with this?

[Kahani Punjab]

Special K28,

There is a word 'fed-up' syndrome, in psychology of relationships, which you both seem to be experiencing. Did anything disturbing happen? The first encounters are often explicit, which later become implicit. There are stages and some relationships have long fling, some have short and some are just momentary. Moreover, sometimes, it is two-sided attraction, sometimes, one-sided and same about separation, either from one side, or both sides. But, your intellectual attraction has more depth, more intellectual satisfaction, required by both from both.

Can you reach at some conclusion from this angle?

[specialk28]

I had a horribble break up a year and a half ago. And have refused to even go on a date since.
His marriage was in trouble from day one. So yes it makes sense. At this point we don't even like each other, but the attraction has remained.

[Kahani Punjab]

Time is a great healer, and you should only wait, and weigh all the option, but do not avoid/hesitate-to communicate. I hope one day, you will be UNITED.

Can I wish you (good luck)!

[specialk28]

Im sorry I didn't understand your question. He thinks I told everyone about the affair. I didn't. However there has been a few references that he was the one who told someone he was having an affair with me. That was the turning point

[Fr_Chuck]

Terms, fling, affair, normally I see a fling as a short term event. A couple times, a month.

If he was or is married, it was an affair. But men have been known to keep a mistress just for sex for years.

[JudyKayTee]

Maybe sex for both of you was far more exciting when cheating was involved, when it was illicit. Now that nobody much cares, the fun is gone.