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confused148866 · Nov 27, 2011, 06:58 PM

I'm 19 and my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We love each other very much but things have changed. We used to be together all the time and he always used to include me in all his plans but lately it seems like he's avoiding me. He always wants to hangout with his friends and have 'bro time' or has to work out or whatever else. He also doesn't seem as interested in having sex with me anymore. We still have sex but not nearly as much as we used to. When we do have sex, I always come onto him.

I've told him that I've noticed a change in our relationship and he says it has nothing to do with me and that he's just stressed and that he'll make it better, but he never does. I just want him to make me feel like I'm special to him like he used to. Am I just overreacting?

I don't think he would cheat on me, but you never know. I've tried to break up with him over this because he's just not paying me any attention anymore, but he begged me not to and told me he loved me and would change blah blah blah..

I'm very much in love with him and don't know what I'm supposed to do here. Please help!

talaniman · Nov 27, 2011, 10:20 PM

Do you have a social life that doesn't include him? Do you live together? All relationships change and require adjustments by both partners as time goes on. That's just the way it is because the events of life, like work, school, family, all add stress and distracts us from just focusing on a relationship, especially early on when we are just learning new things about each other.

That's why I asked if you do things that make YOU happy without him being involved. Often when the sex changes, other areas of the relationship are what affects it the most. Has he had any major changes in his routine?

joey44 · Dec 6, 2011, 05:34 AM

Yea I know what you are going through,how old is he?? depends how much you see him,us guys are jerks,some of us are nice,others are cheaters,my girlfriend kind of does that to me sometimes, long story,I am the nice guy,I wish my girlfriend would come onto me,u sound like nice girl,but maybe your boyfriend wants a little bit space sometimes,my girlfriend would get mad for similar stuff too,us guys sometimes we want to be alone,but is important to give attention to our girl,if you see him at least 3 times a week is fine,5 won't hurt,you guys are very young too,go spy on him or something,show up to his house by a surprise,scare him more,then he will react... just depends what kind of guy is he.. have a serious talk with him..

confused148866 · Dec 6, 2011, 10:54 AM

I do give him his space... he just needs a lot of it lately. And whenever he doesn't want to hangout with me and I go do something else.. then he wants me to come over or he wonders why he's not invited. I just don't understand. We don't live together and I have friends that I hang out with without him but I don't go out to parties or anything like that without him because he gets mad. He does stuff like that without me though, and when I get upset and ask why he didn't ask me to go then he acts like I'm stupid. I just don't know what I should do. He also doesn't like most of my friends and the reasons he gives for not liking them are all things his friends do.. it makes no sense.

talaniman · Dec 6, 2011, 12:56 PM

When words and actions don't match, it will never work. When he says change and you see none, it will never work. If he takes more freedom to do his thing, and restrict your own freedom, it will never work. If he makes promises he doesn't keep, it will never work.

If things cannot be resolved with honest communications it will never work.

If you cannot communicate honestly your dissatisfaction with his actions, and he listens, then this will never work.

If its not working for you, you must make a decision to put up with his crap, or leave it alone. It's a matter of being tired of talking to someone that's not listening to you.