[BrendaNalley]

Me and this guy have been hanging out for about 2 months. At first he said he didn't want a relationship he just wanted a **** buddy, I said OK well can we still be friends he said yeah. Then he started texting me to come over and spend the weekend so I did, he took me to met his friends and I met his dad etc. They all love me and kept telling me there were glad we were together and they were glad he found someone like me. They call me his girlfriend.

At first he would say were just friends and a couple weeks later they started saying it again and he just smiles. He told me about his past he was in foster care, and his exes cheated and used him. Him and his friend told me it's hard for him to show emotion because he's been hurt so bad.

Later that night he left me and his friend alone all night and never came back. I found out he was testing me to see if I would do what he's exes did. (I passed) The next weekend I came he gave me a big hug and kept hugging, kissing etc. That whole night. (he's never done that) Later on he was talking to his dads girlfriend and he said a couple things about exes using him, after they got done talking I told him I needed to talk to him and I told him I don't know what we are but you kept talking about your exes and I just wanted to say I'm not using or will I use you, he looked at me and said "oh I know I know what kind of person you are and I know you wouldn't then I looked and smiled and said I really like you he looked at me smiled and said your cool.

And then I said the worst thing that would ever happen would be an argument he said I know. Later that night his dad, and three of his friends (at different times) told me he really likes you, he can't stop talking about you when your gone) why can't he tell me if were dating and he likes me?

And another thing I texted him Monday since this Thursday is Thanksgiving so I asked if he wanted to come up here Wednesday to have dinner with me and my family since I've met his he said he didn't know what he was doing that he might go to his mom. He's never met any of my friends or family (all but my mom) and there all dying to met him, but it seems like he is making something up.

Is he too scared to met them?

[talaniman]

Of course he may be scared. While you have made some progress, he still may be afraid. He probably has been promised things before, so is taking his time.

Even if he was 100% certain, meeting your family may be a huge scary step he just isn't ready for. Be patient, stay honest.

[Jake2008]

It seems to me that when you agree to being in a friends with benefits arrangement, that is all there is. You are friends, and have sex.

There is no obligation on either side to change that into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. There is no considering you anything else other than a friend you have sex with.

He has introduced you to his friends and family, as his 'friend'. That anybody says anything else has to be considered in context to what you agreed to.

For example, he may want to appear as though he has a girlfriend- maybe his friends are encouraging him to have someone in his life- thus the comments he makes to ensure they all think he has one.

It is convenient for you to visit him, and natural for his friends to think you are his new girlfriend- he's not going to say you are simply a friend with benefits and nothing more.

Nor would he want to be introduced to your friends and family as..?. Why complicate things.

Friends with benefits means nothing more than 'friendship', for sex.

If you have developed feelings for him, or want to have an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, stop the sex, and talk.

Him 'testing' you means maybe he is interested, maybe he isn't. It is rather bizarre for him to do that though. I didn't think there was any 'test' you had to go through to have friendly sex without ties.

Don't guess about what you, or he, is doing. If you want a relationship, if you are confused with his actions, if you consider him (now) more than just what you agreed to, the only person that change that, is you.

Talk to him, set some boundaries, and figure out what you want, and need in a 'friendship' or a 'relationship, and on what terms.

Until you do, you continue to head down a road that was not designed to be anything more than what it is. A dead end.

[talaniman]

Thanks Jake, I totally missed the friends with benefits arrangement. That puts a whole new light on things as most guys that want **** buddies will do and say anything to keep them. Including playing on your sympathy with sob stories of past hurts.

Of course he isn't keen on meeting YOUR family, because its one thing to manipulate you, but quite another to fool them too.