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    kevfresh95's Avatar
    kevfresh95 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 22, 2011, 04:50 PM
    Bestfriend/relationships
    So I have been best friends with this girl for along time about(about 3 years). Last year we got really close because we have a lot of classes together. Although she had a boyfriend, she said she still had feelings for me and would tell me that she "loved me" a lot, and said that she would even break up with her boyfriend if I liked her.

    At that time I didn't have feelings for her because I liked this other girl but she didn't like me back. The girl I liked didn't want anything more than just being friends. So as the year went on me my best friend as I said before got really close around December/January. I even began to like her.

    When I told her that I started to develop feelings for her, things got really great between us. I had gotten over the girl I used to like and was moving on to my best friend and wanted to finally be more than friends after all this time. So things were good between us, she even cheated on him with me! We went to the movies kissed, and made out a few times.

    Then about 2 weeks later, she just decided to stop talking for me for about 2 months!! And ever since then we haven't been good friends since. Its been about 9 or 10 months but still things haven't really changed. We barely talk to each other in school, and when she does talk to me now she seems like she's not interested in what I have to say unless were alone and no one else is around.

    And now her ex-boyfriend is starting to be friends with her again and even since she had broken up with this ex boyfriend she hasn't gotten over him. He is pretty much a god to her and he does everything she says and he's #1 in her life pretty much. He's also one of my good friends as well which makes it 10 times worse!

    What I'm really trying to say here is, I just don't know what do do about this whole situation. I don't know how to get over my best friend because I see her everyday, and whenever she talks to her ex I know she likes him more and more and it just pisses me off so much its ridiculous. She's always on my mind and I feel like I'm never on hers and things will never be like they used to be when I was her first priority in her life.

    How can I be #1 again? And how can I get over my best friend if I see her every day?
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Nov 22, 2011, 05:26 PM
    You leave her alone and move on. Why would you want to be with someone that cheated on her boyfriend for you... do you really want to be the boyfriend that she cheats on someone else with? Especially with her boyfriend being a good friend of yours? Leave it alone, learn to have some loyalty, and choose better partners. Better to be alone than accompanied by bad company.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Nov 26, 2011, 09:01 PM
    Sorry guy, things may have been great, but you were never #1, and she was having her fun no matter who she was cheating with, or cheating on.

    Bottom line, she doesn't even want you to be #1.
    ThankYouBelarus's Avatar
    ThankYouBelarus Posts: 17, Reputation: 5
    New Member
     
    #4

    Dec 16, 2011, 11:16 PM
    My friend is in the same situation. I'm really sorry. I know it's hard.

    I have to agree with mmresd, cheating is never a good sign. We'd like the think we're different, that they won't cheat on us to, but there is typically a pretty good chance that they will.

    My advice is to take time away. You can still be her friend some day, but right now you have to break off contact, even if she already seems to have done that. It will give you some of the power back and maybe help you to see your options.

    I always give the same advice: don't talk to her at all for one week. Absolutely no contact. You probably need more, but thinking long term can make it seem harder. Tell yourself, I'm not going to talk to her for one week. See how you feel at the end of the week. At that point you can continue not talking or you can have an open and honest conversation about what you want and how you feel she's treating you. Both are viable options.

    Everything will work out. It's so hard when friendships are involved, but that's relationships for you, I guess. Best of luck.

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