[FailureAtLife]

I know that this question has been asked here about a million times, but for some reason I couldn't help but post my own.
Please read through. If you don't, I totally understand. Nobody has that much time for me anyway.
I'm a 14-year-old girl, and I live in India.
I don't know where to start about the state of my life.
All I know is that everybody hates me. I feel like such a screw up.
My parents HATE me. They hit me all the time, and there's nothing I can do about it. We have no child services, no NSPCC to call up.
They find a fault in everything I do. My schoolwork, to start with. I'm a bit weak at History but I still manage straight-As in everything. I have to. Because if I don't, I know that my mom will beat me up. Somehow, they want me to do better than all As. A grade of A2 is a huge disappointment, I get “disciplined” because my parents think that beating me up will somehow ENCOURAGE me to get an A1 next time.
Then, my health. I'm not overweight, just a bit fat. I exercise a lot, I watch what I eat, but I do not lose a pound. They scream at me because it is somehow my fault that my body is built the way it is. My mother yells at me because I have big boobs and she thinks that they look indecent. I'm not allowed to wear skinny jeans, dresses, spaghetti tops, tube tops, shorts or skirts, and I don't complain. I CAN'T complain. If I do, I get hit. Needless to say, I don't like pain.
They don't let me step out of the house at all. I have to skip or walk inside the house for “exercise”. I'm not allowed to close my room's door, and I'm not supposed to be alone in my room unless it's unavoidable. Whenever my parents go shopping, my mom picks out clothes for me (three t-shirts every two months, a pair of jeans every 5 months) and I get to carry the grocery bags.
Moreover, they don't want me to talk to boys over the phone, at school, on Facebook, at all. They also think that crushes are gross and abnormal. They have “caught” me talking to guys thrice, and I didn't get any sleep on those nights. Just pain. No sleep. I wasn't even allowed to stay up till 12 to wish my then-best friend (a girl) a happy birthday. I only talk to two or three guys on the phone, so I have saved their numbers with girls names on my phone (that my mother checks everyday).
I have tried sitting them down and talking to them about all of this, but they told me that if I didn't like the way they treated me, I should get out of their house. No one would care.

Other than my parent problems, I have trouble keeping friends.
I'm considered somewhat popular at school, but I can never seem to maintain friends. Partly because I can't talk to them on the phone (mom has an objection to me talking on the phone for more than an hour a day), partly because I can't meet them out of school and partly because I have a boring personality. Whenever I'm texting someone or talking to them on Facebook, they always stop replying after a while. Sometimes I just give up and stop talking to everyone, but I can't live with that! No one ever calls me. I call people sometimes, but I can only do it for so long before I'm considered “sticky”.

I've thought of dying, but I'm sure I would fail at that too. I fail at life, I'd fail at death.

I won't write more here. I doubt anybody would read all of that. I screw everything up, I've probably screwed up here too.
If you read everything, I am eternally grateful to you. Thank you so much. You don't know how much I owe you. Just… thank you.

[Wondergirl]

Please tell me three things that are good in your life.

[FailureAtLife]

This took me very long to think about.
The first would definitely be my best friend. She is the best thing in my life, no doubt about it. She's always there for me. Even when we fight, she never fails to remind me that she'll always have a shoulder for me to cry on, no matter what happens :')
The other two are conditionally good. At the moment, they are good but they can get bad in no time, even though the bad phases don't last very long.
The second, school. Even though schools here in India give you only 25 minutes a day to go out of your class, it's enough. I talk to my friends in those 25 minutes, and then I get around another half an hour after school while waiting for my bus. I have trouble concentrating in my classes, but getting to see my friends (and my crush) usually makes up for it. Right now, I'm having trouble because we have holidays and the homework is very tough. But it's okay. I'll get through it :)
The third thing is that I'm slowly getting closer to the people I'm already friends with. After I posted this question, I talked to the guy I like on the phone for the first time. I made up with my best friend. And one of my other friends called me. That's like a big achievement for me.

[Wondergirl]

The first would definitely be my best friend.
The second, school.
The third thing is that I'm slowly getting closer to the people I'm already friends with.

I'm very proud of you for coming up with those three good things in your life!

You are also a very good writer. Has anyone ever told you that before today?

Do you like to write stories or poetry?

[FailureAtLife]

Only once. I had this friend, Natasha, she thought that my stories were very vivid and that the characters were very easy to visualize.
Thank you, by the way. Any kind of appreciation means a lot to me.
I do like to write stories. I've found that writing down my feelings or letting everything out with a story helps a lot. And I want to be an editor for a living. Not a newspaper editor, that's boring. I want to be a book editor, or maybe a proofreader. Getting paid for being a “Grammar Nazi”, now that would be a dream come true :)

[sirsquickalot]

I'm struck by your intelligence and ability to write so well as a 14 year old, especially as you are writing in English. I'm horrified by what you've said about your parents' attitude to you and how they treat you.

My impression of you is of someone who will rise to be a very important person one day, because you appear to be very resolute, despite your worries, and very clever. Don't consider for a moment the option of suicide or anything to do with self harm. Prioritise keeping your physical being in perfect condition. What you are going through now feels like a lifetime but is only a phase. When you come of age you can be your own person, make your own choices, and you will make the right ones.

I was never shown any interest from peers or teachers as a teenager, and despite all my efforts to be a polite, hard working, friendly boy (albeit rather shy), I was just bullied and picked on. I too considered seriously some very bad options, such as suicide, but thankfully never acted on them. There were thousands of nights crying myself to sleep, however. Eventually, in my early twenties, I gained self confidence and am now in a better place than anyone I knew back in my teenage years. I have close, brilliant friends, and make myself proud, and love what I do.

And I'm very happy.

Get through this terrible time and you'll come out stronger than the rest of us. Keep faith in your own abilities and strength. You'll be a very special person, even more than you are now.

Remember, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.

Hope this helps and good luck.

N

[colorblind]

Would like to be your friend.

[PrincessSheeta]

I read the whole thing, I know what you are going through, my life seems to hate me as well. I have almost no friends and the ones that I do live more then 700 miles away from me so I rarely ever get to speak to them. I have four older brothers and They are always treated like the golden children, while I am belittled and bullied at school and at home. I am saying too much, I am probably boring you. But honey, in life, we are all screw ups, we are all misfits in someone Else's eyes. But not in mine, finally in life I have found someone that is exactly like... me.

[ShazzyK]

First off, you are an incredible writer. Now, I'm a 17 year old boy living Pakistan. Almost everyone hates me, I'm completely ignored. No one,literally no one ever listens to me or to what I have to say especially my family, I have completely no importance in my family. I have 2 brother and 2 sisters. I'm the youngest, all of'em are adults, 3 working and 1 is studying in a university. Everyone regards me as completely useless, no one even talks to me straight, as if I'm someone picked up from a street. My parents on the other hand are better than my siblings, they don't listen to me and everything but they still, at least treat me as a family, as their son. In my house my brothers are like kings, whatever they say goes, they misbehave with anyone without any concern, nobody scolds them or corrects them,everything they do is overlooked. My sisters, I try to be with them as best as I can, try to help them out in anyway possible, but they take everything for granted and they hate me, I've even been told I'm not worth talking to many times,to my face. Everyone tries to criticize me in every way possible. My luck sucks as well, bad things happen to me a lot. It's as if the world is falling on me. Huff... but I keep quiet and take it in. Then come my friends, thanks to them I live, I have plenty of friends, literally a lot, and a lot great and close friends. But they don't listen to me either, sometime they do,mostly they don't. I'm alone in the world, and no one understands me, no one tries to either. The biggest problems are my siblings, they rule in the house and all the dirt falls on me. Sometimes I think they literally don't want me to exist.

[Namashivaya]

Girl: Life is too short to worry about little things.

I am from India and my sisters, mom, dad and relatives belittled me. But I tried hard to keep my spirits up, studied hard because that is the token to happiness and wonderful career.

I am now in U.S, have a beautiful family of my own. I have a awesome career and enjoy my life.

Hold on just a little longer and you will see that there is a wonderful future waiting for you.


Girl just a little longer and you will see the future in colors and past just fading away.

[melanisiaituff]

I read every thing, I'm in the south pacific, am I 16 boy, I feel really sorry for you, I only have one thing to say to you, study hard and get out of were you are, explore the world, maybe someday we might meet, and not know,

[Youngswag]

I know how you feel. My parents kept on scolding and beating me up until I cried to sleep. I have straight A+'s (I'm not kidding.) and yet they still beat me up for having, "a grade below their expectations". I'm seriously thinking about suicide, but I'm too afraid, so that's not a problem. My advice personally is to try to tell a school counseler (if you have one) and tell him or her how ypou feel and they should (probably) talk you through on how to get past this problem.