Check out some similar questions!

CheerRapMusic · Nov 21, 2011, 03:46 AM

I just lost my virginity , and I know it was suppose to hurt and everything ( Which it did!) but it didn't feel good at all. . I'm guessing I wasn't in the mood? I don't even know if it felt good for him. . It was very hard to get it in , but he's 17 , I'm only 15 if that helps. Please don't scold me for my age I know it was a bad choice , but we have been together for a while now and that was my decision. But we didn't use a condom , but it wasn't even in there for a long time and it hurt so bad he just took it out. . Next time how can we get in the mood? And Why didn't it feel good? How do I make him feel good? && I don't think it was fully in there ?

ScottGem · Nov 21, 2011, 04:20 AM

Ok, no lecture for giving it up, you feel bad enough already.

You ask why didn't it feel good. There are a few reasons. Inexperience is probably a large factor. Lack of an emotional commitment certainly plays a part. There are probably physical issues like your vagina is probably very tight at your age.

But the "next time". Now the lecture has to come. Why should there be a next time. You have admitted there isn't the emotional connection. And, at 15, do you want to become pregnant?

No one should be engaging in sexual intercourse unless they are physically, financially and emotionally prepared to have a child.

DaniCalifornia · Nov 21, 2011, 04:25 AM

I lost mine at EIGHTEEN and it still hurt. It hurt and didn't feel great for the next 6 or 7 times after, too. It's only really now that I enjoy sex properly, as I'm with a partner that I know genuinely loves me, isn't using me for sex, and is prepared for a proper adult relationship.

X Dani

edaniels1 · Nov 21, 2011, 05:51 AM

I'm also sure the boy isn't very experienced either. Sex is a lot more than the act of putting it in. If your not using protection and the planning wasn't done nothing is going to help make it feel better. Spend more time just exploring the parts outside. I remember the best time I ever had at your age with a girl was just spending an afternoon naked on a blanket in the sun lying next to her and enjoying the day of freedom. Take your time and he should as well. If all he wants is to get it in there, maybe he's not the right one. You don't and shouldn't worry so much about making him feel good. It isn't usually in a guys nature to put much thought into it at that age. He's got a hand, and trust me he knows how to use that.

DoulaLC · Nov 21, 2011, 06:19 AM

Hi CheerRapMusic,

Not scolding, but advice I think you need to hear and think about:

I have to ask... since you don't really love this guy, and you don't feel it was the right time, and you wish you had waited, are you thinking of staying with him, and possibly having sex again, because you believe he will dump you if you don't have sex with him?

If you aren't sure, put it to the test. Tell him you decided that you aren't ready for sex and see what his response is. Does he support you in waiting or does he try to talk you into it? Does he put your best interests first or what he wants first?

What would you tell your best friend? Would you tell her to keep having sex with a guy if he was using her for sex? If she didn't really have strong feelings for him but was hoping she would after having sex? If she regrets that she didn't wait?

Think very carefully about your reasons for being with him, and especially reasons for thinking about having sex with him.

If it is because you feel any pressure, any at all, from him to do more than you are comfortable with, or because you think he will just dump you and find someone else who will have sex with him? Those things tell you that he is not the one to be with. It doesn't matter how cute he is, how nice he is at other times, etc.

IF you do decide to continue, at least be smart enough to use protection every single time. He MUST use a condom, before he is ever inside you, not even for a few seconds without one. Be careful if he tells you that it doesn't feel good with one on or that he will put one on just before he ejaculates. YOU have to protect you, because he is not likely going to if you don't insist. YOU are the one who would be responsible for a baby if you became pregnant... he would most likely be gone.

Don't think it can't happen to you. I've lived in Hawaii and taught pregnancy and childbirth classes there. I know what the teen pregnancy rate has been like. I also know that the mentality, for some, regarding teen pregnancy can be different than in most other places.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 21, 2011, 07:13 AM

And a little lecture, so you are ready to be a mother now? Does he have a job? To pay child support? Are you ready to have to put up with him for 18 more years when he comes to pick up a child for visits.

That is what happens with no protection ( and can even happen with some) Does not matter if it was not in there for very long.

So if you are going to be sexually active, get on birth control, and use a condom (both)

Next if you were not in the mood, you are not going to enjoy it> most of the fun is in the head.