[fasteddie119]

My girlfriend and I have been in a girlfriend/boyfriend-type relationship (seeing each other daily, talking all the time that we weren't with each other, kissing, having sex, so on, so on) for about 3 months, and good friends for about 5. We've only been attached with the aforementioned labels for the past few weeks, but it really hasn't made that much of a difference, except for the obvious sort of things that happen when you're officially "dating" someone.

We've talked about emotions before. She's been through quite a bit of heartbreak, whereas this is the first girl I've ever had a meaningful relationship with. She was once engaged, and has had her emotions thoroughly trodden upon more times than I can remember.

One time, about a month back, she asked me how I felt about her. This kind of threw me off guard, as I knew what my feelings were, and I wanted to tell her, but could never find a decent way of putting it out there. I decided it was now or never, and I said "I love you." She was taken aback. Flattered, and expectant, but still in some small degree of shock. She said she knew that was what I would say, and that she really cared about me, and never wanted to see my feelings hurt. She said she hates hearing that I had a bad day, and that she feels like it's partially her fault because she didn't make it better. Through these statements, and other actions of every day life with her that I can't even begin to list, she's made it very clear she cares a lot about me, and really strongly likes me. However, in that conversation, and another that we had about the same sort of thing a few days ago, she has said that she can't love me. She says that she wants to, and tries to, but she's "out of love". I've taken it upon myself to not ask her what that means and just assume that it probably has to do with being emotionally used up throughout her past relationships.

While it hurts deeply to not have her love me back, I recognize the absolute torment she's gone through with her ex's, and I can accept that she doesn't love me, at least for the moment. It's just that it's really bothersome to look at this girl and feel all these intense emotions and want nothing more than to be with her all the time, all the while knowing that she doesn't feel the same, and that she may never feel the same.

I'm not entirely sure what my question is exactly, but I need to know if anyone else has been in a similar situation, and if so, how did you deal with it?

Any other advice, comments, etc. would be greatly appreciated, as I'm really at a loss for what direction to go with this fabulous woman.

Thanks.

[talaniman]

When they no longer love you like you love them, you get over it, and leave them alone, and go on with your life. Been there done that more than a few times. Hey its great when its good, but sucks when its over. Fun while it lasted. But we survive and do better.

Read the stickies at the beginning of the Relationship forum home page, then you will know how its done.

[vanheart]

"she's "out of love"

No one wants that.

I like people that love me.

Stay away from her.

[TrueFaith]

well you are not alone my friend!

You want to hear my story?

Many moons ago! When I was just a young lad! 19 years!
I was working on a private boat crew of about 9 a nice 140ft

Anyway so I meet this girl, I thought wow! Right off the bat but didn't want to say anything to her because I was nervous lol. So we became friends for about 7 months now living and working together on a yacht is a big thing its like living with a family anyway
we went out one night and we got really friendly next thing you know boom I'm in a relationship this was my frist ever relationship at the time so it was huge for me!

we dated for about 8 months I thought everything was going awesome! But when I come home one night to find the door to my cabin is locked. I thought that's funny! Why would my roommate lock me I shared with my best friend at the time.
anyway. He opens the door naked I'm like -whats going on-?
he tells me he just got out of the shower
so I look at him and he isn't even wet so I thought.. something's odd plus the room is ptich black!
I walked and he goes to me.. you probable should ignore this
I look under his covers and I find her.

I was so hurt. She then told me to get a life. Not take things to seriously and she was cheating on me for all the time we were together!

awesome frist time in a relationship
needless to say it took me a while to get over that
I also had to work with them for another year. With them rubbing it in my face. Everyday

So as you can see you are not alone
and at least this women took the time to tell you and not just keep you strung along.
so you have to give her props for that

All I can say is you need time to heal your lucky she is out of your sight and your not living with her because then.. that's tough!

All the best!

it will get better!
trust me =)

[mmresd]

Take it slow, enjoy the relationship, and the love will follow.