Check out some similar questions!

ccossey00 · Nov 17, 2011, 10:06 AM

I have an amazing little girl and an wonderful boyfriend! When I got pregnant the what I call sperm donor said he hoped she died an he didn't want to have to pay child support. He was really bad into drugs still is from what I'm told. Well I meet an amazing guy who I had been dating when I found out I was pregnant. When she was born he signed the birth certificate an the paternity paper as well. But now that she's a month old her sperm donors parents are wanting to see her an let the sperm donor be involved. Is there any way they could get a DNA test from the court if she already has a dad on birth certificate an on the paternity papers? I haven't been contacted by sperm donor since day I told him I was pregnant only been contacted by his mom one time after I had my little girl.

smoothy · Nov 17, 2011, 10:09 AM

Yes they can (actually the father would do it)... he can request a paternety test be done. Of course that opens the father up to child support, but it also opens a path to visitation rights as well if it proves to be his child. And I believe you think he is.

cdad · Nov 17, 2011, 02:01 PM

Another thing is that unless you deceived your boyfriend then what he did was illegal. He should have never signed the papers in the first place unless there was a chance he was the bio father.

Synnen · Nov 17, 2011, 09:11 PM

Unless you actually had sperm donated from a sperm bank, you have a biological father, not a sperm donor. Unless you'd like to be referred to as an egg donor? No?

You and your boyfriend committed fraud when he signed the paternity paperwork. If you KNEW he wasn't the father, then he shouldn't have signed.

The biological father CAN contest the paternity of the child and have a DNA test ordered. Further, he can go to court to get visitation and probably partial custody.

Finally, your child has a right to know her biological and genetic history--it may be VERY important medically some day. In addition, these things have a way of NOT remaining a secret. The older she is when she finds out you've lied to her about her paternity, the more likely it is that she will be angry and upset with you--and she'll likely wonder what ELSE you have lied to her about.

ScottGem · Nov 18, 2011, 04:43 AM

As noted, you made a BIG mistake by allowing your boyfriend to commit fraud. This will come back to haunt you if this ever gets to court.

As to whether the bio father (not sperm donor) can file for a paternity test and get visitation or more, that depends on local laws (ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area. )

If I were you, I would contact the child's biological grandparents and include them in your daughter's life. If you voluntarily allow them to visit with their grandchild. They may not pursue the matter in court thereby exposing your fraud.

ccossey00 · Nov 18, 2011, 06:12 PM

Thanks for your answers but you are all wrong lol sorry to offend yal I did try to let the other guys family to be involved but wanted nothing to do with her cause of her last name also I got an attorney an everything I did was totally legit he was there at the time of birth he is able to sign papers an it could possibly be his but either way he doesn't care so thanks for input but no you would not feel that way if you were in my position an they hoped your child died or killed itself when its older but thanks anyway also he can petition for a dna but because of emails he sent me the court would rule it out.

smoothy · Nov 18, 2011, 06:26 PM

What anyone feels or not doesn't change what the law says. People get themselves in serious trouble every day like that. Many of them end up in jail.

I bet you find out differently if he decides to take you to court.

No emails or statements can take the parental rights from a parent. Only the Court can do that.

AK lawyer · Nov 18, 2011, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by ccossey00

... i got an attorney an everything i did was totally legit he was there at the time of birth he is able to sign papers an it could possibly be his ...

If your BF signed an affidavit of paternity, while knowing that there was a substantial possibility he wasn't the biological fatherer, he committed perjury and, despite what your attorney may have told you, everything wasn't "totally legit". But it's probably water under the bridge.

ccossey00 · Nov 18, 2011, 06:35 PM

My lawyer says that a court will approve in my favor the other guy signed his rights away if it was his along time ago I got the papers an so does my lawyer he now claims he don't remember signing them because he was high so no I'm not in any legal trouble if he tries to take me to court the state I live in says whoever signs paternity papers is the father some other guy can't just come in claiming its his when he has already signed his rights away if it was a possibility.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 18, 2011, 06:46 PM

I don't mean that wrong, but the attorney you pay to fight for your case will of course agree with you.

And to be honest if an attorney really told you that ( and sorry I doubt he said that breaking the law is ok)

First he can't just sign his rights away, he could if he was proven the father sign for the other man to adopt. If he signed something on note book paper that was never approved in court by a judge it is not legal and binding, any attorney, even a law school student knows that.

And of course the real bio father since you were not married at the time of birth to the other man, can file for a DNA test.

Sorry if a lawyer really said this ( and again, I think you have not really seen an attorney since what you did was illegal and an attorney could not say it is ok) And the bio father would have certain rights to contest ( and an attorney knows that)

So perhaps you need to talk to another attorney, one that does family law.

AK lawyer · Nov 18, 2011, 07:01 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

...
So perhaps you need to talk to another attorney, one that does family law.

Or show the attorney to whom you talked this. Tell us what he/she says.

ScottGem · Nov 18, 2011, 07:06 PM

First, how can you say we were wrong when you didn't give us information we would need to give advice? If you had told us you had an attorney up front our answers would have been different.

However, I'm concerned about what this attorney has been telling you. What you are saying about the advice you have gotten goes against what we know of the law.

1) A person can't just relinquish his rights. Only a court can terminate rights. A court is not likely to do so. They definitely would not terminate rights without those rights being established by a court first.
2) Signing a birth certificate or acknowledgment of paternity when you aren't the parent is perjury. And a court will generally not look kindly on it.
3) Yes, whoever signs paternity papers is the father, but every US state provides for the opportunity to challenge paternity. There are rules and time limits on such a challenge. If your lawyer told you that if your boyfriend signed the acknowledgement of paternity then he will be considered the father without any chance of challenge he wasn't being truthful. In fact, that is the question you asked initially. If you lawyer already answered that, why ask us?

We understand why you feel the way you do towards your ex. We empathize with your problems. But you asked a question about law. And we answered with what we know of the law.

Fathers who are surprised by fatherhood often make statements and threats out of shock and anger. Courts understand that. They also understand that people can change their minds and often do. Especially when faced with a child.

Either your lawyer is not very good or just wanted to allay your fears hoping the bio father would stay in the woodwork. We don't work that way. We're going to tell you the facts and prepare you for the possibilities.

Some of us are lawyers, others just knowledgeable about the law. You can ignore our advice if you want. I hope your lawyer is right and you don't have to worry about your ex. But if he DOES go to court I think you are in trouble.

ccossey00 · Nov 19, 2011, 10:14 AM

Thanks for advice I asked my attorney about they statements put up on laws an the time limit here is they have 30 days after the birth of the child to try an petition for a dna test if the try afterwards an the father on the birth certificate has any doubt that the child is not there's then a dna test can happen but if the father on because an paternity papers believes its his 100 percent an the mother does as well than a test won't happen! I did get contacted by other guy recently an he said that he hoped he isn't the father an that she is going to grow up to be a slut or end up killing herself because she's going to hate me an her father. An when he hoped she died he meant it so now I have that also in writing. Thank you guys again it gave me good questions to ask my lawyer an he said they have nothing because he wrote that again an a judge will not break up a family.

ccossey00 · Nov 19, 2011, 10:18 AM

To fr. Chuck I did talk to my attorney an the text he sent signing his rights away were sent from his phone company to the courthouse an they binded that it put the stamp on there an everything so thanks again you were helpful for questions to ask my lawyer because her father now could have possibly been her bio as well an we believe she is his she's looking more like him everyday an they have very dominant genes in his family that you can't ignore like nose an ears.

ScottGem · Nov 19, 2011, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by ccossey00

thanks for advice i asked my attorney about they statements put up on laws an the time limit here is they have 30 days after the birth of the child to try an petition for a dna test if the try afterwards an the father on the birth certificate has any doubt that the child is not theres then a dna test can happen but if the father on bc an paternity papers believes its his 100 percent an the mother does as well than a test wont happen!

What state are you in? Because that does not sound correct. If you tell us the state, we can look up the applicable law. But I don't know of any state where there is only a 30 day window.

Also, I cannot believe a text would be accepted to terminate rights. Again, since he has no rights at this point of time there is nothing to terminate. So no court will issue a TPR in this circumstance.

cdad · Nov 19, 2011, 12:36 PM

Originally Posted by ccossey00

to fr. chuck i did talk to my attorney an the text he sent signing his rights away were sent from his phone company to the courthouse an they binded that it put the stamp on there an everything so thanks again yall were helpful for questions to ask my lawyer because her father now could of possibly been her bio as well an we believe she is his shes looking more like him everyday an they have very dominant genes in his family that you can't ignore like nose an ears.

Im just going to come out and say it. This fish story is getting bigger by the page. He could not have signed away any rights. Its IMPOSSIBLE. He wasn't the legal father according to your story so there wasn't anything to sign away. Please don't treat us like we are stupid. We have many actual and honest questions that need answering to be wasting time with tales and facts that don't exist.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 19, 2011, 02:44 PM

Yes, all of this is proven, if this is in the US to be a larger fish than I have ever dreamed up. No a text would not be signed by a judge, they would have to be formal motions on proper paper work, and a hearing. And then the judge would have denied it, you just don't sign rights away like that. It is a myth.

And you find answers to our comments within a day, so it is obvoious you are making this up.

If there is a real story give it now, or we can end this fish tale.