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    toxic_avenger11's Avatar
    toxic_avenger11 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 9, 2011, 07:59 AM
    I feel trapped in this relationship! Please help!
    I've been dating him for over 3 years now. We also decided to move in 2 years and a half ago. When it all started it was great, including great intimacy. (We have bowed not to have sexual intercourse until marriage)
    It has been almost 3 months since we've been intimate, and that's not on my part but his. He always has an excuse, whether his lips are chapped, his chest is hurting (he has high blood pressure -_-), he is out of breath, he has a headache... anything that could be used for an excuse. On the other hand I'm not very open about the subject and I refuse talking about it to him, for he is immature. I'm considering leaving him because I truly do not like the way he has turned out to be, but when I even hint breaking it off he becomes extremely clingy. I don't know what to do! I feel trapped. Any advice is welcomed.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Nov 9, 2011, 08:07 AM
    There is no LEGAL need for you to feel trapped. You are not married, and either one of you can leave at any time.

    There's always counselling. If he is complaining about his health, perhaps he needs to see a Physician, have a thorough physical. I would be concerned about the change in his behavior.

    If he is clingy now when you suggest you might leave I think that clingy-ness will only get worse as time goes on.

    You need to do what you need to do to be happy. Only you know if the relationship is worth working on.

    On another note - I don't understand the decision not to have intercourse but to have a relationship that is intimate in other ways. Is this a religious decision, something else? I mean absolutely no disrespect but this is posted somewhat often and I don't understand it.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Nov 9, 2011, 08:25 AM
    If you feel trapped leave... you aren't married, its easy to do.

    Find your own place and move.

    It only gets complicated if you have a name on the lease and you aren't month to month at the time.

    I never recommend someone stay in a relationship they find no enjoyment in... are threatened in... or feel trapped in. PARTICULARLY if you aren't married or have kids.

    Being not-so-happy I'd suggest counseling... feeling trapped is going to take a lot just to get back to the "I can barely stand to be here" stage much less "I like it here".

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