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    Aeiichi's Avatar
    Aeiichi Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 18, 2011, 10:10 PM
    I love two men
    I meet Craig when I was ten and let's not call it love at first sight but since then I have cared. My feelings grew over the last 14 years and I know now that I am in love with him. It's like him not being with me is a piece of me I'll never find. I think about him constantly I have for the last 4 years. In a round about way I have told him how I feel but it's never been the right time for us. My problem is shortly after our first romantic encounter he left to go back to Japan to finish the remainder of his overseas tour! He meet another girl and I meet another man. I feel in love with him as well! We have a home together and share our lives. My problem is no matter how much I try I can not get over Craig. I can't stop thinking about him. I ask myself "what would I do if. Was faced with the decision to choose?" and honestly I don't know I dream about him and have to stop myself from texting him.

    From grade school I was destined to be with Craig I felt it and now I just want to stop loving him. I want it to be over I want to love Daniel and marry him and be happy but I can't move on. I feel like I'm losing to myself and I'm scared I don't know what to do?

    Can you help me?
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #2

    Oct 18, 2011, 10:32 PM
    What do you really know at 10? Or at 24? Huh?

    You never had a real relationship with Craig.

    Some infatuation. I meet girls like that now. Still living in the past. I run when I hear that.

    "My problem is no matter how much I try I can not get over Craig"
    You shouldn't even be in a relationship until you resolve that.

    If I were dating a girl that was pining over some guy from her childhood, I would have second thoughts.

    You are in full control. Whatcha going to do?

    "I want it to be over I want to love Daniel and marry him"
    Aeiichi's Avatar
    Aeiichi Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Oct 19, 2011, 09:40 AM
    I'm not an infatuated teenager and more than anyone else I know what I feel. You can judge anyone by age in my short 24 years I have been threw more than most. I am just unsure of how to move on.

    When something is left messy it hurts forever.

    I just don't know what to do
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Oct 19, 2011, 04:37 PM
    Yes we cannot help how we feel, but we can control what we do about it. You sound like you have not sufficiently healed from the end of that relationship you had, maybe because of the way it ended, maybe because you didn't want it to end. Either way, you definitely need more time to recover, just to be fair to the new guy.

    Either way, its not easy to let go of feelings you have had for 14 years? WOW!! Just curious if there has been contact recently that keeps triggering those old feelings, and stirring them to the surface? Maybe Emails, or texts??
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    Oct 19, 2011, 04:40 PM
    If you believe that your destiny is to be with Craig then nothing anyone can say is going to change that. If you are unsure, well, then there's all sorts of advice.
    Aeiichi's Avatar
    Aeiichi Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Oct 19, 2011, 08:53 PM
    We have been friends no matte what our whole lives but have had several encounters over the last 3 years. I don't talk to him now I try to refraim from texting and calling. It's hard an I sometimes need my best friends help she keeps me in check. She still believes that if we are meant to be it will happen but I should t push it. I try to convince her I'm not waiting on this to happen I'm trying to move on from it it's been hard because I don't have anyone I can really talk to about it
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Oct 20, 2011, 12:40 PM
    Maybe its time to stop talking of him, and embrace your life without him in it. After all he left and got with someone else, so what's the point of "if its mean't to be"? I say none, its only a distraction for what is NOW.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #8

    Oct 21, 2011, 03:46 AM
    Get over guys before you get into another serious? Relationship.

    Whattya want?

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