[feeblechicken]

I recall the same thing happening to me the last time when I just started talking to my ex. I was having a crush on a really good looking guy who didn't like me back. My ex (average looking/ short dude) on the other hand initiated by surprising me with flowers on V day cos we had met couple of times before and really connected well intellectually. So naturally I went out with him. Due to some other reason though it didn't work out though there was an nagging feeling at the back of my head that I kind of went out with my ex, in a way, settling for looks even though I knew rationally that personality and having a connection should be my priority over everything.

This time however this dude started talking to me (met through dating site) who is according to pictures average looking and short again but we connect really well intellectually with similar interests and all and again I can tell he's very interested.. Only this time he's like on the other side of the planet and I haven't met him face to face. ON the other hand, I'm quite enamoured of this really good-looking guy around here When I first met him, he flirted and bought me a drink. I started initiating chat with him on fb. We have some things in common but I found him to be a much simpler guy, or at least he seems to put himself out to be that way. And chatting with him, he seems to like to talking about sexual preferences. I was a little hurt once I started responding to his chat once and he suddenly went offline. Later I asked where he went and he said he had stuff to do. I asked him what and he confessed a random girl chatted him up online and they had a one-night stand. He simply says that its fun to do this while looking for the ONE. I was disappointed and knew from this all the while know that this dude is toxic and I should stop chatting but I can't seem to help dropping a line on chat remarking this or that. Meanwhile I feel bad that I don't like the other dude enough but he is after all a long distance dude. Though rationally again, he would probably make a better long term partner. I fear though I would be settling again even if I could be with him because I couldn't get the good-looking one (not that I think the later would make a good long-term mate). I would be meeting long distance guy next year though I fear I'll get the nagging feeling of settling for looks though knowingly that its not a rational thing. Maybe it's a greed thing. What's wrong with me?