[Prahdigee]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost ten months. We share a common love of our Church and we get along pretty well. She is very kind to me, we are attracted to each other, and there are no big hang-ups as far as I can tell.

We don't really have a lot in common other than our shared faith and our love of it, and a few other small things. We both have a deceased parent (my Mom, her Dad) but for whatever reason this doesn't often lead to us being closer to one another. I'm into video games, writing, and all things nerdy. She likes learning to teach kids math, talking about conversations she had with other people, sports, and not much else other than faith. This leads to some conflict about what we want to do together. Sometimes I don't want to be with her because I find it boring.

My girlfriend is really bad at asking questions. Sometimes she spends a whole hour talking about her week with our valuable time together, then gets upset when I don't share. I thought I was being loving by listening to her stories even though I found most of them uninteresting, and then she gets upset because I don't want to tell her about my week. I find my life boring - I want to talk about my opinions, my feelings, the things I like to do other than school and work! But she never asks about those things. There is just a ton of communication difficulties... sometimes I will ask her a question and she will be utterly silent for minutes at a time, even if it's a YES OR NO QUESTION! It drives me nuts... I feel like she's ignoring me or can't talk to me, even though I know better than that. She also uses very accusatory language when she talks to me, making a lot of assumptions and putting words in my mouth.

Often after we argue we make up, and she feels great but I feel exhausted. I feel bad for wanting to break up with her sometimes, because she clearly loves me a lot and means well, and I know that often I feel the exact opposite: that I want to marry her. She's dated lots of men and I'm relatively new to dating. I feel like I'm really impatient and unrealistic and try to focus on the good things about her. I feel like it's my fault and that I'm too quick to anger, and that I'm just too new at this to really know what I'm doing. I don't want to throw away a good relationship and find out that it was a mistake.

My girlfriend is a very sweet and loving woman and has many good qualities. She is able to list off many things she likes about me, and although this is wonderful because I often feel like most people don't like me at all, they are never the things that I like about myself and I don't feel like I could do the same for her. I don't feel like she knows and loves the real me.

I'm confident we have a good relationship but I'm just not sure she's the one for me. People say we look cute together but that drives me nuts... I just want to know if we're right together. Please help.

[sewslikethewind]

You should listen to that little voice in the back of your head that is making you wonder.

Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with her? Every morning, evening, every weekend, every holiday, for the rest of your life? Listening to her drone on? Now imagine how she feels when you can no longer hide your frustration and dissatisfaction in the relationship. Marriage takes effort and work, even when the people start perfectly suited to each other.

You write about your Church, I don't know what faith you are, but I am sure you both value honesty. Tell her the truth. It'll work out. One way or another. Good luck.