[mecakor]

I met this man online and soon found out he is 10years older than he says in profile.so he is a middle aged man. He doesn't look that old but he never tells me his true age and I never asked. I actually don't care too much about age because I like him and he is a talened man, I feel he likes me too. Later on I found he registered in some different dating websites with unreal ages. I understand age is just a number if two people truly love each other but why he lied. The more we chat the more I see he always talk about the other people in a mean way and he seems focus much on people's shortcomings. He is very picky and pays much attention on details. I feel he is a self centered person and very into his look as a 40's man. He seems love himself more than me. I want to have a serious relationship with him,but I am confused about some negative thoughts sometimes. What should I do?

[Wondergirl]

I want to have a serious relationship with him

WHY??

Everything you said about him was negative. Most of all, he's a liar. By the time I finished reading your post, I didn't like the man at all. Why do you want to have a relationship with him? Have you met him in real life? You mentioned "should I continue dating him?" Do you think online chat is dating?

[roxypox]

When you come across a man like that you should just stare clear of him! If I was in your situation, the first thought that would hit me and it hit me as I read your post is: How many other girls is he 'dating'?

seriously think about it:

1. he lies about his age.
2. he is registered at different datingsites
3. he lists different ages on different sites.

This smells like a bad deal to me mecakor...

If you have negative thoughts that are in connection to him then maybe you should listen to them.

If he seems self centerd, then he proably is. And his focus on his looks showes you that he is very egotistical or perhaps that he is hiding a low self esteem...

And seriously, do you really want to be with a person who is WAY to concerned about peoples shortcomings?

Have you ever met him? It's one thing to chat with someone, but I wouldn't consider it dating. When you chat you can hide your own shortcomings and you can hide every side of yourself that you don't want other people to see. For Example: ON THIS SITE, if I wanted to portray myself as a self serving a$$ who only care about myself and who holds no regards to other people and their feelings I could do that, but I chose to be honest about my problems and to have a caring attitude towards the other people here... still you can't see me at my most neurotic, or what I look like when I have a panic attack or that I'm really grumpy in the morning. (hehe :))

My best advice to you is: stop chating with him!

Were there is one lie, there is probably another... especially if your chatting and he feels the need to lie about his age.

[liz28]

[QUOTE=mecakor;1401218]
He seems love himself more than me.
[QUOTE]

Why do you feel he should love you and do you love him because I think if you do then you have your love misplace.

I think you should reread your post because all the answers to your question is within your post.

To be honest, it doesn't even seem like then guy want anything serious so you should find someone that want the same thing as you.

Also, watch out for guys on the internet. Btw, did you met him in person or just over the internet?

[roxypox]

Liz: really agree with you! Some people on the internet are for real, but if he lies about his age and has all the other negative aspects as described above... even the lying is enough really.

Why do you want a serious relationship with him? He doesn't seem like the catch of the year! Or the best catch in any situation to be frank!

Wondegirl: hehe :P you should see me the mornings me and my sister get up at the same time... full scale war :P haha >(my sister and I share an apartment, and work together)

[mecakor]

Thanks for all the answers.
Yes, I met him in person but few times, and he is fun to be with. Those negative thoughts came out suddenly sometimes when I was with him, listening and talking to him. I thought maybe we still need time to get to know each other but the moment my instinct told me maybe that how he is. I am attracted for his talents and some fun sides of him,but I also had a feeling that he might have many online chattings. He said he likes having fun with people,just fun. He seems have some "not good" experience which can't make him treat people seriously. I am far far from "analyzing people", I just tell what I feel and hope to get some helps.I never had online dating except this man. I have some feelings for him but I don't know if there would be good relationship with him. Thanks.

[roxypox]

It doesn't really sound like he is looking for a relationship, which is a bad starting point to begin with.

If I'm understanding you correctly: he has had some bad experiences that make him hesitant to enter a relationship?

I'm sort of of the belief that if there are too many negative thoughts , then it can't really work out... and if you are unsure and he dosen't want to be in a relationship then I think it's a no go.

But its good that you've met him in person.

[southerngalps]

There is a reason you are hesitating. You know that this is not what you really want.

Trust your instinct. Find a fine gentleman :)