[Confussedalso]

I will try to keep it short. Ok here we go, My ex girlfriend that I have known for a little longer then two years. We broke up about a month in a half ago. She was a friend of my brothers girlfriend. We were friends for about two months before we started dating.

We dated for about 3 or 4 months and she ended. About a week after we ended she text my brothers girlfriend saying she was going to go to the same bar as I was going to that night. My brother is in a band and she wanted to go to the show. Knowing I would be there. I text her and asked her not to go. Well she ended up not going I when to another bar just because I did not want to run into her. That night text messages went back and forth. Starting to get insulting. All of a sudden I get a call from the police saying not to contact her. I ended all contact well he next morning I get a text from her. So I called the officer that called me the night before and had told him so he called her. Ok so I sent like two text seeing how her kids and her were doing within that month. After no response I went on with my life dating and so forth.

Two months goes by and I was over her and I was at a party I get a text and see it was her asking if she can ask how I was doing without getting in trouble. So I waited till the next morning to text her back. Two days later I went to her house and she saw me and the smile on her face just was what I wanted to see. We had sex that night, and fell in love like nothing ever happened.

We dated for a year and a half fighting on and off. Well she has a ex husband that left the three kids and skipped out of town. I tried my best to be there for her. Watching the kids doing stuff around the house etc. Her mom died when she was sixteen and her dad left her life. Now 16 years later fathers day after she has sent cards and trying to get in contact with him. He finally calls her. She was very happy to hear from him I was very nervous. Then her sister she did not talk to for more then two years came back into her life watching the kids now.

So I feel like she used me and doesn't need me anymore. She stopped spending time with me the sex started going away. So now after a month in a half found a girl that is very down to earth I really like her and she likes me. But why does my ex come into my head? Why do I feel guilt? Why do I think she is going to call me? Do you think she will call? Last time we talked was a month ago or a month in a half. I always had to text her or call. And I asked do you think about me and she said everyday. I asked do you feel like calling she says yes but I no its wrong.

She said she loves me and cares about me. I asked did you want to talk to me tonight she said well If I didn't I would have not called you back. She said she was afraid of losing her kids emotionally. But why did she have me come back and put me through heartache again. There has been no contact for a month and a half. What is going? What should I do?

Thanks and any responses will help.


Edited/T

[talaniman]

Don't blame her because you are allowing her to live rent free in your head. You have to let go of this abusive, unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship. You really do. That may take some time but neither of you brings out the best of each other, nor can you work together very well.

Let it go and give yourself time. No body can know what goes on in her head, not even you, so leave her alone no matter what. She sounds more bored, or lonely than in love, so stay away.