[bonnienclyde]

We dated for a year, both mid 40's, he single never been married although had a long term girlfriend of 10 years. I am separated from husband, we were friends for years before dating. We were very much in love, have great chemistry, fun and he even started talking long term, he told me he was in it for the long haul, I never pushed for any of it, I must admit having some reservations as he always seemed to be the confirmed bachelor , loads of one night stands (before me) but he was single so I had no problem, he told me he wanted to change , was fed up with being like that and wanted to be settled down.

A few weeks before our split I sensed him pulling away, not contacting me as much, always busy , telling me that he would like to do this n that but never actually arranging it.. all confusing. So I challenged him, said that I felt he wasn't making time for us, he apologized and said he was sorry, he knows he can be a nightmare sometimes as he is so used to doing his own thing for so long... but he didn't offer any solutions to fix this so I said that maybe its best if we call it a day as it hurts that he can't find the time for us, he then said that he was having second thoughts about us and didn't know how to tell me...

I told him I was hurt thought he loved me, his response was that he was an idiot, he finds it hard to commit in any relationship, he cares deeply about me but love seems different for him? Told me he didn't want to hurt me as I was very special, a great girl to be with... and that was that.

I have been in no contact for 2 months (apart from in the first week, 2 texts I sent to him with no response. I took him off FB initially and only friend him again 2 weeks ago, then 4 days ago I started a conversation with him (only because we are both attending a joint friends birthday party in a few weeks..

He was very chatty: I said Hey how are you, can we be friends as don't want the party to be awkward Him: course (my name) xx what have you been up to? Lots of chit chat and jokes then I said had to go (wanted to be in control of when conversation ended) he said: Take care (my name) xx cu soon xxx I didn't respond... what do all think about this? We had a great relationship, no arguments, lots of laughs, weekends away, everything... I am heartbroke

What do I do now though, I want him back, do you think he will come back? Am I being foolish to having some hope still?

Merged, and edited/T

[talaniman]

Its clear his mind has changed about being in an exclusive, committed relationship with you and I think at this point you accept it and basically leave him alone and move beyond this chapter in your life.

Sorry, but I guess he just loves being single and free to do as he pleases.

Forget hoping, or trying to reconcile with this fellow.

[vanheart]

I would go back to NC.

"he finds it hard to commit in any relationship"

That isn't good.

"I want him back"

Why? Because you broke NC? Let him suck you back in.
Now you got to start over.

Don't confuse his text w/anything other than disrespect.
He didn't want a relationship. Then or now. With you or anyone else.

Don't waste your time.

Let the next girl waste their time.

[Fr_Chuck]

I am sorry, the purpose of NC is not go get him back, but to move on. This is the part that you are not letting go and moving on, So you need to go back to the no contact. What or how would it have felt if he had bought a "date" to this event you will be at.

He appears to have his own agenda and enjoys the freedom of no commitment.

You have also not divorced, for some reason, and really need to learn to cut ties.

I agree, go back to no contact and look for moving on, not keeping up false hope