[kimchilover]

My ex boyfriend was never truly happy to be with me (his words), because he was to into flirting and I really hate it and told him to stop. Also I am a virgin who is not ready for sex and he is a very very sensual person! I feel the longer I am with him, the more he suffers We kept dragging it for too long because we kept running back to each other every time when we broke up.

I asked him how much he is suffering from a scale 1-10 with 10 being most. He said 5. I was devastated. When he gave me the number 5, I knew we have to separate. But I know he had difficulty to move on from me, so I came up with this stupid idea that I will be super mean to him to scare him away. So I was online goggling how to act in a not reasonable way. I was swearing at him, I told him to sleep on the floor, I asked him to email his ex girlfriends to scold at them, I asked him not to go on a camping trip, etc. One day I was talking this with a male friend, he told me threatening him that I will kill myself will DEFINITELY scare him away. Then I think if it can make him move on from me and find a girl who can accept him (whom he can have sex with at least). So after I tried to act in a mean way, he is now scared of me and locks himself at his room. I knocked on his door to ask him for MY house key he refused to reply, and didn't open the door (I think he lost it). And he's skipping work for three days now, ignoring my calls, etc.

This should be the consequence I want, I think the more he hates me the better, the sooner he can find someone else, but I don't know why I am still sad over all this.

I am just so dumb!

[JoeCanada76]

You both are playing games with each other. Your setting him up for failure. Testing him. Asking him on a scale of 1-10 whether he is suffering or not. He answered your question and then you think you have to separate. You were setting him up for failure. I think you were just looking for reasons and excuses to get out of a relationship you did not want to be in, in the first place. All these games you were playing. Instead of doing that, why not just tell the truth? That would be a lot easier. Never Never ever do what you have done in a relationship whether you wanted out of it or not. Thinking he is better off not being with you because of the way your acting. Wow, can not believe how crazy your acting. Your ruining another persons life. He is actually putting up with it.

Are you sure he is okay? Are you sure he is still alive? Men I do not know what else to say in this answer. Obviously he was not happy to be with you. Do not think anybody would be unless you change your ways.

So did you do the right thing by making him suffer and jump through loops and treating him like an animal. The answer is no.

Now about the relationship being over, Thank God it is over. Make sure it stays that way. Hope he recovers from this nightmare. Hope he is still able to function as a valued member of society after this experience.

I just hope and pray nothing bad happened to him.

[Jake2008]

What you are doing is abusive, uncalled for, very immature, and ridiculous!

What a more mature person would do, somewhere in the breakup ballpark, is accept that the relationship is over, and move on. Move out, get over it, and never look back.

What you have done is turned into a one woman stage show on how to torture, humiliate, and destroy a person, and all without any merit or reason that makes any sense. You had to 'scare' him away? That is garbage- you were physically, psychologically and emotionally scaring the man to death!! Do you think that's normal?

You should really be ashamed of yourself, and think about leaving men alone before your anger gets the better of you and you take a meat cleaver to the next boyfriend.

What YOU have done is totally wrong, regardless if he were a two-timing gutter snake and had a dozen women on the side. It is YOUR actions that require some serious reflection, and realization that you need help, and the sooner the better.

[kcomissiong]

Agree with the others. You need to GROW UP, break up with him, and let him move on instead of verbally and mentally abusing him. Is it easier for you if he walks away? Are you so selfish that you are willing to hurt him so that you don't have to do the right thing and leave? Wow. He is better off, and this is a very twisted idea of how to break it off with someone. Counseling wouldn't hurt for either of you.

[Fr_Chuck]

So what are you 14, would be my guess. Please if you are not old enough and mature enough to date don't. The games you are playing are evil and controlling. I wish he would run but you may have him scared to leave you now.

Next men are not suffering if they don't have sex. They want it, but they don't suffer, Boys suffer since they think that is all there is to a relationship.

[talaniman]

Boy do you have life and BS all mixed up. Either your kids playing stupid games, or some really screwed up drama queens.

Leave each other alone.