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confused1994 · Sep 20, 2011, 06:38 PM

For 2 years, I dated a boy. It was very serious. Throughout the relationship, we did have our issues as every couple does. Something he did kind of triggered something in me and I thought it changed how I felt. Then another boy came along that I knew loved me for a long time. He told me he would treat me better and so on. So I ended up breaking up with my 2-year boyfriend. Since then, I've been on & off between both of them. Currently going steady with the second. But I'm starting to really miss my ex, crying every night and so forth. The other problem is that my ex is also seeing a girl who he has been on & off with as well. I don't know whether I should continue crying and missing him and trying to forget or do something about it. My friends tell me that I forget eventually but its been almost a full year that I was officially with him & I can't forget. Someone please help me.

tickle · Sep 21, 2011, 12:41 PM

If you miss him that much, confused, take the bull by the horns and do something about it. Call him, talk to him, find out how he really feels towards you. Get it settled between the both of you because there is obviously a lot left unsaid.

Tick

landomando · Sep 22, 2011, 01:59 AM

Well what did he do to trigger this confusion?

talaniman · Sep 22, 2011, 02:56 PM

How old are you both? Why be with someone if you would rather be with someone else?

Better to be single, and resolve your own feelings with a proper healing.

tickle · Sep 22, 2011, 03:11 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

How old are you both? Why be with someone if you would rather be with someone else?

Better to be single, and resolve your own feelings with a proper healing.

This comes with maturity, the ability to resolve feelings, heal. I know you know that, you know I know that. I think the problem here is, although we don't know the age of either, it probably means one or the other is not mature to recognize this ability.

I wish I knew then, what I know now.

Tick

confused1994 · Sep 24, 2011, 04:58 PM

Thank you all , this was very helpful. I'm 17 and he is 19. It gets harder the days that go by.. I would call him and see how he feels but I don't want to ruin what he might have with this other girl. But I do love him a lot still, even though sometimes I feel like I don't. I care about my current boyfriend a lot as well but your first is your first, and that's just reality.

talaniman · Sep 24, 2011, 05:59 PM

First or not, staying within the boundaries of good behavior, now that you have the second, is important.

Most of us have fond feelings of all our loves, not just the first one. Give the current one some respect. How would you feel if he was trying to contact HIS first??

confused1994 · Sep 24, 2011, 06:20 PM

Ya I understand that. That's why I haven't made any mistakes about this and why I'm asking advice.
I also feel it's not fair to my current if I still love my first and I'm upset over it.
I feel like he deserves someone who can fully direct their attention to him.

talaniman · Sep 25, 2011, 08:39 AM

I have always thought that you should grab another romance until you have let go completely of the old one. Then you don't carry old feelings into the new one. Who needs old emotional baggage in there quest for happiness, and enjoying their lives.

Hard to look, or move forward, when you are constantly looking back.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 25, 2011, 05:57 PM

You've been on and off with both of them for a reason. Something is missing.
He is now with someone else. You should leave the current one alone as it is not fair that you're pinning after someone else.
Stay single a while. You may find you do fine without both of them.
If you can move between two guys that smoothly or that much, neither of them are for you.

confused1994 · Sep 25, 2011, 08:30 PM

Thank you all for your input. Everything said really helped.
& nothing was too judgmental or critical.
Thanks again :)