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mistaken92 · Feb 16, 2007, 10:28 PM

Well me and my boyfriend had sex, he's 13, and I'm 14 my parents found out and my mom ended my relationship with my boyfriend. My parents do not trust me.. How can I earn their trust back?
:confused:

CaptainForest · Feb 16, 2007, 10:58 PM

Buy them flowers.

I am just kidding.

Trust is something that is EARNED over time.

Just be truthful and honest and behave right now and in time, your parents will see that you can be trusted once again.

Bluerose · Feb 17, 2007, 06:47 AM

You sound like a mature 14 year old, your concern for your parents is commendable. Simply be yourself, honest and caring and sorry for having upset them. Plan to avoid another close relationship until you are a little older.

Your parents may seem disappointed in you but they are also worried for you, they don't want you to be landed with a baby at such a young age.

And believe me neither do you - it's bloody hard work.

Just be a good daughter for the next couple of years.

Sex isn't going to go away, it will be right there waiting for you when you - and your parents - are ready and more prepared for it.

Allheart · Feb 17, 2007, 06:51 AM

Originally Posted by bluerose

You sound like a mature 14 year old, your concern for your parents is commendable. Simply be yourself, honest and caring and sorry for having upset them. Plan to avoid another close relationship until you are a little older.

Your parents may seem disappointed in you but they are also worried for you, they don't want you to be landed with a baby at such a young age.

And believe me neither do you - it's bloody hard work.

Just be a good daughter for the next couple of years.

Sex isn't going to go away, it will be right there waiting for you when you - and your parents - are ready and more prepared for it.

Here you go mistaken - BlueRose covered this beautifully. It is so worth having it appear again!

JoeCanada76 · Feb 17, 2007, 06:58 AM

They do not want you to be stuck with responsibility of having sex so young, because with it comes pregnancy. No parent wants this. I think they are right in ending the relationship you have with this person. I hope you realize that sex should not be important right now and it is something you need to be older and more mature for.

Do what your parents ask of you. Show them that you know you should not have done this and be sincere in your mistake and let them know that it won't happen again. Your parents are naturally disappointed but just do what is right, learn from this. Be honest and truthful and you will earn their trust back.

Joe

Bluerose · Feb 17, 2007, 08:12 AM

Jesushelper76,

Sorry, I have to disagree with what you wrote. That was her 'first time', you never forget your first time. Please don't tell her it was a mistake. She may be regretting the fact that she has upset her parents but it was not a mistake - unless she thinks it was.

JoeCanada76 · Feb 17, 2007, 09:03 AM

Bluerose,

I have to disagree with your disagree. The reason being is that we do not know how many times they had sex. Yes, it is a mistake to be so young and having sex. It is something that is not thought through usually especially with children. Yes, I said children. First experiances are supposed to be memorable but when it is this young. A lot of it has to do with pressure, keeping up with other friends and lack of responsibility. Yes, with sex comes pregnancy. The possibility of pregnancy. Again poster did not say how often this has happened. My view is it happened to early.

P.S. This is not about me or you. This is about this teenager that got caught with her pants down by her parents at an age this should not be happening.

Joe

valinors_sorrow · Feb 17, 2007, 09:36 AM

How do you get your parent's trust back is really a matter of time and performance on your part. Whether you should or shouldn't have had sex at such an early age, whether it was your first time or not, or even whether it was a mistake or not isn't so important as your parents clearly didn't want you to do something you did. I would guess that they think its too adult.

Have you listened to why they don't want you doing that? That might be helpful in repairing some of the damage. Also can you recognise that some activities you may be interested in might just have to wait until you are an adult and free to take them? That might help too. I know if I had a child, age 13, I would want her to take smaller, more careful steps into adulthood and I would be doing things to help that happen too. A parent's job is to largely put themselves out of business getting you to adulthood in good shape and then letting go. Caring parents are a blessing... so let them care. Smaller steps, okay Mistaken? You'll get there.