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    dj.shq's Avatar
    dj.shq Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 21, 2011, 07:45 AM
    When to go for a kiss with the first date?
    Hi... I'm a 21-year-old guy, rather shy and inexperienced with girls... I'd like to ask you the following:

    What is the most appropriate time to kiss a girl? - the very first date, the second or the third one, or when?

    Is it better to ask her for a kiss or not?

    [ Ok, here goes the story... After chatting online with a girl [she's about 20] for some months, we decided to meet, which happened 4 times. Well, I didn't kiss her on these four dates, which I think made her go off me, and ask to remain only friends. The problem, I think - apart from my shyness - was also that we meet in a rather public place (not intimate enough, which made me more awkward. Also, I wanted to know her well, and kissing itself isn't that essential to me... ]

    What do you suggest that I do [with specific reference to kissing etc ] on my other dates..

    Thanks a lot for taking the time to read it.

    What do you suggest that I do
    Do you think
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 21, 2011, 09:01 AM
    I don't think that it's the fact that you didn't go for the kiss that made her disinterested in you romantically. She gave you 4 dates to get to know you better and then realized that she was better off a friends with you.

    It's probably not something that you did in specific, rather as she got to know you better, she realized that you're not the one for her.

    No sweat, dating is about learning more about the other person to see if you're a good match for the future. You can't be a perfect match with every person. But you can give each other a chance to get to know each other better.

    She gave you 4 dates, which is plenty. I think it's time to meet someone new.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Sep 21, 2011, 09:08 AM
    Dating is a matter of finding out about the other person, And I agree a kiss is not the issue unless she was expecting sex by the third date.

    But if you chatted online long enough, you should know a lot about each other.

    But next what do you mean by a kiss, a light contact, even in public or at least a hug as you say goodbye.

    In today's soceity some couples have sex on the first date and go to get away weekends on first dates. Others have no sex till marriage.

    Finding the person with the same beliefs will be one issue.

    Next if just dating to find someone, many people will date several people or keep looking while dating another person on first few dates.

    If you did not do at least a hug and perhaps a light kiss on 2nd or at least 3nd date, they may have wondered if you were looking for a friend or a date
    Lillih's Avatar
    Lillih Posts: 32, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Sep 21, 2011, 09:51 AM
    You are supposed to kiss when you feel like it. :)
    You shouldn't ask for a kiss... If you want it, then just do it!

    You will know when the times comes, believe me.

    When is the time? When you feel butterflies in your stomach, the world stops, and you just think of the person who is standing in front of you, and you feel like nothing else really matters... Oops, am I being boring? Hehehe, I'm sorry. :) I just wanted to give you my opinion... My suggestion: there is no need to do it in a hurry. And you don't always need to kiss your date, just because you think it is the right thing to do... And just be yourself.


    Good luck! :)
    dj.shq's Avatar
    dj.shq Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Sep 22, 2011, 01:57 AM
    Hey guys...

    Thank you all for the advice you gave to me (,and sorry for some mistakes I made in haste in my posting)

    Well, I have given up on her now, and I'm trying to turn over a new leaf.

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