Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    titanic2011's Avatar
    titanic2011 Posts: 50, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Aug 28, 2011, 08:22 AM
    Great date, no kiss, now what
    I went out on a date with a girl I had just met on a dating website. We spoke for some hours prior to actually meeting. She traveled a good hour and 10 minutes to meet me at the restaurant. Dinner went well, she had fun, we were there for like 2 hours, never a broken moment in chatting.

    After we went miniature golfing, and then when it was time to leave she didn't realize how late it was. I gave her a hug, nothing more. She texted me later saying she wanted to see me again and had a great time. Overall she laughed and smile and we had great discussions.

    The question is, I feel as if there were a few moments I should have kissed her, but I didn't want to be the scripted first date kiss. Second, I feel like I should have kissed her, but eh. I'm not sure when to call her and invite her to do something, or if I should let her ask me since she traveled much farther on our first meeting. I don't want to ruin this and end up in the friend-o-zone!
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #2

    Aug 28, 2011, 08:56 AM
    No need to rush the kiss. If she is interested, she will find you. Try setting up a second date and see what happens.

    Maybe this time you could go somewhere closer to her place.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #3

    Aug 28, 2011, 09:12 AM
    Not kissing her right away doesn't mean anything. You say she texted you after and all seemed good so no worries there. Call her, talk, set something up and drive to see her instead of her coming down to see you. Don't get crazy and see how it all works out.
    agh1990's Avatar
    agh1990 Posts: 40, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Aug 28, 2011, 02:07 PM
    She text you straight away saying she had a good time which is a good sign, but I wouldn't read too much into the first date kissing thing. Some people do it and some people don't. It's not necessarily a reflection on how much she likes you, but instead more a reflection of the type of person she is.
    I'd suggest a second date, but perhaps try somewhere in the middle of the two of you so it's on more neutral ground, maybe she'll feel more comfortable with you there.
    If anything is meant to happen, it will, just wait until the right moment, and I'm sure it will be amazing :)
    titanic2011's Avatar
    titanic2011 Posts: 50, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Aug 29, 2011, 03:53 PM
    Ended up second date right away. Attempted the kiss at the end, kind of weak, haha. Partly my fault. Go figure. Hopefully that didn't make things awkward!
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Aug 29, 2011, 04:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by titanic2011 View Post
    I don't want to ruin this and end up in the friend-o-zone!
    Guys and girls rarely get friendzoned on dates. They either end up in a relationship or never get a call back.

    You went on a second date, so you have nothing to worry about. Just stay cool.
    titanic2011's Avatar
    titanic2011 Posts: 50, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Aug 29, 2011, 05:29 PM
    So third date, since second date ending kiss was child's play weak, should I attempt to kiss her as soon as I see her? We hug for sure, maybe kiss her cheek with the hug, then maybe kiss her before the date ends so it's not a script to ksis at the end? Maybe jjust go up to her and kiss after the hug?
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #8

    Aug 30, 2011, 11:09 AM
    Don't need to plan the kiss. How about you just hug her first and then go have an awesome date. At the end of the date you can maybe go for the kiss if it feels right.
    titanic2011's Avatar
    titanic2011 Posts: 50, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Sep 4, 2011, 07:11 AM
    We are on like 6 dates. I cooked dinner and we had a few bottles of wine and she ended up sleeping over. We made out once during the night for like 4 seconds, the rest was all pecks. Any other attempts were turned into quick pecks. She denied me of boobies LOL. Leaving in the AM, a peck again.

    What's up with that. It's crazy how she talked about her past before and how her x was saying she was the best lay ever. How we got into that topic on like 3rd date, I do not know.I understand the art of moving slow but jesus, turtles move faster.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #10

    Sep 4, 2011, 07:36 AM
    How long have you known her? If I go by your postings it doesn't seem to have been very long. What a couple of weeks?

    What are you expecting in the way of intimacy and affection? What is she? Is she attempting to keep from making past mistakes?

    Quick kisses, hand holding, light cuddling, etc. may be more appropriate than long kisses that lead to wanting more. You are both still getting to know each other.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #11

    Sep 5, 2011, 01:51 PM
    As long as she's still willing to go on dates with you, that means that she's still interested. You may have created some unreasonable expectations in your mind. Every person goes at a different pace and there are so many other reasons things may be going slower at the moment.

    You can always asked her what's up or continue to move at a pace that she's comfortable with. But since there's no way to read her mind, I wouldn't assume the worst.
    titanic2011's Avatar
    titanic2011 Posts: 50, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Sep 6, 2011, 03:52 PM
    True. I seen her again met her for dinner. I mean I guess I'm just not used to thing smoving THIS slow. It's not a bad thing obviously.

    One issue is that she always wants to go do stuff. Stuff costs money. And the stuff we do, dinners we do, some are as much as $100. Factor in gas. I invited her over again but she said she wants to go enjoy the weather be outside, and rainy cold days are for staying in etc. The thing is, things outside means we are spending min $50 each time. So I guess this is a hurdle I have to overcome without sounding like a cheap ***. Ha.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Sep 6, 2011, 04:10 PM
    I have a question: do you actually want to date this girl and have her be your girlfriend, or is does she just a booty call (in the making)?
    titanic2011's Avatar
    titanic2011 Posts: 50, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Sep 6, 2011, 04:18 PM
    Girlfriend.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #15

    Sep 6, 2011, 04:59 PM
    Be honest with her about expenses and see if you can find compromises that don't cost as much if anything at all (other than travel). Look up sights to see in your areas or half-way between. Parks, historic sites, lakes, rivers, hiking trails, etc. are all great places to get out and usually don't cost much. Picnic lunches or diners can be very romantic.

    If she isn't interested in compromising, then you may want to rethink the girlfriend idea.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
    Ultra Member
     
    #16

    Sep 6, 2011, 06:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by titanic2011 View Post
    girlfriend.
    Then what's with all the impatience?

    The dates are going well and she's clearly interested, so take it easy and stop finding things to complain about, because it will surface and she will pick up on it.
    whit17's Avatar
    whit17 Posts: 40, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
     
    #17

    Sep 10, 2011, 09:24 AM
    First of all, you don't have to kiss someone on your first date, especially if you are meeting her for the first time. It is OK that you did not, there is nothing wrong with that. You don't want to move too fast for her. Wait for a few more meetings when you start getting more warmed up to each other personally instead of on the internet. And second, the guy should usually ask the girl on the date, unless it is like a Sadie Hawkins dance or something, which I doubt because those aren't around much anymore. And next time you should be the one traveling instead of her. You have to treat the girl, not wait for the girl to treat you. That is a problem these days that guys need to resolve.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Bad Kiss on first date-how to get out of this one. [ 7 Answers ]

Ive been talking to this woman I met off line for I would say a few weeks maybe even more.we hit it off good.she so happen stayed and my area a few blocks away.we hooked up one night she went to blockbuster got sum movies and then went to her crib chilled for hours watching movies I was holding...

Is is illegal to date a 17 year old if your 14 years old? PLUS: we only kiss. [ 3 Answers ]

I've been dating my boyfriend and he's 17 years old and I'm 14,and I'm wondering if its illegal to date a 17 year old if your 14 and we do NOT do any sexual things. We only kiss. PLEASE ANSWER :3

If you kiss someone, does that mean you have to date them? [ 8 Answers ]

me and one of my friends want to get a little closer to each other,so we are thinking about having our first kiss together but were kind of nervous. We were wondering if most people start dating if they kiss. We thought that dating may be a little weird but fun to try. Can you guys give me some...

Great Date Ideas? [ 2 Answers ]

I've been dating this absolutely great guy for about two months now and we've taken it very slowly up until this point. I'm recently divorced and he's going through a custody battle with his ex and things got a bit hairy there for a bit, but its passed, we've reconnected beautifully and things are...

After a GREAT first date... [ 4 Answers ]

I had a GREAT first date with a guy on Tuesday night. We kept it simple - coffee for an hour and a half. There was never a lull in the conversation, no awkwardness at all. The date ended nicely with him telling me that "next time I will get you more than coffee". I walked away feeling great and...


View more questions Search