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titanic2011 · Aug 28, 2011, 08:22 AM

I went out on a date with a girl I had just met on a dating website. We spoke for some hours prior to actually meeting. She traveled a good hour and 10 minutes to meet me at the restaurant. Dinner went well, she had fun, we were there for like 2 hours, never a broken moment in chatting.

After we went miniature golfing, and then when it was time to leave she didn't realize how late it was. I gave her a hug, nothing more. She texted me later saying she wanted to see me again and had a great time. Overall she laughed and smile and we had great discussions.

The question is, I feel as if there were a few moments I should have kissed her, but I didn't want to be the scripted first date kiss. Second, I feel like I should have kissed her, but eh. I'm not sure when to call her and invite her to do something, or if I should let her ask me since she traveled much farther on our first meeting. I don't want to ruin this and end up in the friend-o-zone!

I wish · Aug 28, 2011, 08:56 AM

No need to rush the kiss. If she is interested, she will find you. Try setting up a second date and see what happens.

Maybe this time you could go somewhere closer to her place.

odinn7 · Aug 28, 2011, 09:12 AM

Not kissing her right away doesn't mean anything. You say she texted you after and all seemed good so no worries there. Call her, talk, set something up and drive to see her instead of her coming down to see you. Don't get crazy and see how it all works out.

agh1990 · Aug 28, 2011, 02:07 PM

She text you straight away saying she had a good time which is a good sign, but I wouldn't read too much into the first date kissing thing. Some people do it and some people don't. It's not necessarily a reflection on how much she likes you, but instead more a reflection of the type of person she is.
I'd suggest a second date, but perhaps try somewhere in the middle of the two of you so it's on more neutral ground, maybe she'll feel more comfortable with you there.
If anything is meant to happen, it will, just wait until the right moment, and I'm sure it will be amazing :)

titanic2011 · Aug 29, 2011, 03:53 PM

Ended up second date right away. Attempted the kiss at the end, kind of weak, haha. Partly my fault. Go figure. Hopefully that didn't make things awkward!

slapshot_oi · Aug 29, 2011, 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by titanic2011

I don't want to ruin this and end up in the friend-o-zone!

Guys and girls rarely get friendzoned on dates. They either end up in a relationship or never get a call back.

You went on a second date, so you have nothing to worry about. Just stay cool.

titanic2011 · Aug 29, 2011, 05:29 PM

So third date, since second date ending kiss was child's play weak, should I attempt to kiss her as soon as I see her? We hug for sure, maybe kiss her cheek with the hug, then maybe kiss her before the date ends so it's not a script to ksis at the end? Maybe jjust go up to her and kiss after the hug?

I wish · Aug 30, 2011, 11:09 AM

Don't need to plan the kiss. How about you just hug her first and then go have an awesome date. At the end of the date you can maybe go for the kiss if it feels right.

titanic2011 · Sep 4, 2011, 07:11 AM

We are on like 6 dates. I cooked dinner and we had a few bottles of wine and she ended up sleeping over. We made out once during the night for like 4 seconds, the rest was all pecks. Any other attempts were turned into quick pecks. She denied me of boobies LOL. Leaving in the AM, a peck again.

What's up with that. It's crazy how she talked about her past before and how her x was saying she was the best lay ever. How we got into that topic on like 3rd date, I do not know.I understand the art of moving slow but jesus, turtles move faster.

Cat1864 · Sep 4, 2011, 07:36 AM

How long have you known her? If I go by your postings it doesn't seem to have been very long. What a couple of weeks?

What are you expecting in the way of intimacy and affection? What is she? Is she attempting to keep from making past mistakes?

Quick kisses, hand holding, light cuddling, etc. may be more appropriate than long kisses that lead to wanting more. You are both still getting to know each other.

I wish · Sep 5, 2011, 01:51 PM

As long as she's still willing to go on dates with you, that means that she's still interested. You may have created some unreasonable expectations in your mind. Every person goes at a different pace and there are so many other reasons things may be going slower at the moment.

You can always asked her what's up or continue to move at a pace that she's comfortable with. But since there's no way to read her mind, I wouldn't assume the worst.

titanic2011 · Sep 6, 2011, 03:52 PM

True. I seen her again met her for dinner. I mean I guess I'm just not used to thing smoving THIS slow. It's not a bad thing obviously.

One issue is that she always wants to go do stuff. Stuff costs money. And the stuff we do, dinners we do, some are as much as $100. Factor in gas. I invited her over again but she said she wants to go enjoy the weather be outside, and rainy cold days are for staying in etc. The thing is, things outside means we are spending min $50 each time. So I guess this is a hurdle I have to overcome without sounding like a cheap ***. Ha.

slapshot_oi · Sep 6, 2011, 04:10 PM

I have a question: do you actually want to date this girl and have her be your girlfriend, or is does she just a booty call (in the making)?

titanic2011 · Sep 6, 2011, 04:18 PM

Girlfriend.

Cat1864 · Sep 6, 2011, 04:59 PM

Be honest with her about expenses and see if you can find compromises that don't cost as much if anything at all (other than travel). Look up sights to see in your areas or half-way between. Parks, historic sites, lakes, rivers, hiking trails, etc. are all great places to get out and usually don't cost much. Picnic lunches or diners can be very romantic.

If she isn't interested in compromising, then you may want to rethink the girlfriend idea.

slapshot_oi · Sep 6, 2011, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by titanic2011

girlfriend.

Then what's with all the impatience?

The dates are going well and she's clearly interested, so take it easy and stop finding things to complain about, because it will surface and she will pick up on it.

whit17 · Sep 10, 2011, 09:24 AM

First of all, you don't have to kiss someone on your first date, especially if you are meeting her for the first time. It is OK that you did not, there is nothing wrong with that. You don't want to move too fast for her. Wait for a few more meetings when you start getting more warmed up to each other personally instead of on the internet. And second, the guy should usually ask the girl on the date, unless it is like a Sadie Hawkins dance or something, which I doubt because those aren't around much anymore. And next time you should be the one traveling instead of her. You have to treat the girl, not wait for the girl to treat you. That is a problem these days that guys need to resolve.