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    epiboy's Avatar
    epiboy Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 16, 2011, 01:48 PM
    Is it weird for me to be turned off after learning that my girlfriend had a 3 way?
    I'm not sure why, but this really bothers me. She said she was drunk and it was her, another girl, and a guy and she was really drunk. Maybe it's because she's younger than me and I feel like she's done a lot more than I have (She just turned 17 and I'm 19). What are your thoughts?
    QLP's Avatar
    QLP Posts: 980, Reputation: 656
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    #2

    Sep 16, 2011, 01:58 PM
    No, it's not weird for you to feel that way. Our feelings are what they are. What matters is how we act on them.

    Do you want to accept this and move on with your girlfriend or do you see it as a deal-breaker because she is not what you thought?

    Do you feel a little insecure in your own inexperience? Jealous? All perfectly natural feelings if you do.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Sep 16, 2011, 04:04 PM
    Its not weird to feel that way, but if she is still getting drunk, I would be cautious. Drunks are a turn off too!
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Sep 20, 2011, 05:48 AM
    Perfect example of why to avoid drunks... far too often they do stupid things while under the influence. She could end up pregnant (by someone else) for example and try to blame it on you because she couldn't even remember the event. I've seen that happen to others.

    Drunk women are a real turn off from my own experiences. I preffer them sober.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #5

    Sep 20, 2011, 07:04 AM
    May I point out that not only did she drink to the point of excess (she was doing things she apparently wouldn't do while sober), but she was 16 years old when it happened.

    It sounds like she has been a troubled teen looking for answers in a self-damaging way. I hope she has learned a better way of getting her need for affection and acceptance met than in a bottle and/or bed.

    As for your being 'turned off', is it the concept of her being in a threesome that bothers you or that she was supposedly drunk and not in control of her actions?

    If she were your age or older would it affect you the same way? Is it partly because you know she is a minor even if the age of consent laws where you live give a legal okay to her having sex?
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #6

    Sep 20, 2011, 07:35 AM
    I would like to point out that while it is not weird for you to be turned off--I can't believe the number of threads I've seen where a guy reacts this way--it is YOUR issue and you have to decide how you want to move forward with it.

    She cannot change her past. If she DID change her past, she wouldn't be the person you care for, would she?

    You have to choose whether to accept this piece of her past and move on, or break up with her because you can't get past it. You do NOT get the option of staying in the relationship and "punishing" her for something that happened before she was with you.

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