[beth6568]

Moved and edited in its own thread/T


I would love for someone's opinion. First of all I'm 43 years old and I have a wonderful 21 year old daughter who is the light of my life. Back in the day when I was 18 I met a guy that I fell head over heels for. He was in the navy stationed in my area of this world but his original home was very far away. He really was a awesome guy and we had an amazing time together.

The time came that he was being discharged from the Navy and sent home. Long story short is he asked me to marry him and I went to live with him. I did miss my home and family while I was gone. I'm not sure what happened but I ended up leaving him and coming home. We stayed in touch for about 5 years after, and did I mention that I had my daughter about a year after we broke up which I'm sure really hurt him a lot, so much so that he called to ask if my daughter had any chance that she could be his. That just was not the case and would never have told him that it could have been.

I was in a relationship with her father for about 5 years but then got sick of trying to love him so I broke it off. I have had several other relationships since and have been engaged to be married many times but could never go through with it. I'm now in another relationship and have been for 6 years and am engaged again. I recently looked him up on Facebook and found out that he has been married for 16 years and has a child of his own.

Don't get me wrong I would never (or maybe I would) try to Facebook him.We still live at opposite ends of the earth. Recently I have been having dreams about him though. Its been 22 years and I can't get him out or my mind. I have an OK life with the man I'm with now, I wouldn't say its wonderful, but it works. I've never been married myself, and don't know if I ever will be, but I could use some advice from someone. It's been forever now and I don't know what to do.

[talaniman]

What was it that broke you up, those many years ago? Is this part of a pattern, you get engaged, but decide to move on? That's what it seems like, you don't want to be married so you love 'em, and leave 'em.

I don't know if circling back to what you think is unfinished business is a wise course of action, given you are engaged now. And if your pattern still holds, maybe its wise to resolve your current situation, before you go on to another one.

I can only imagine the many broken hearts you have left, so returning to an old love to leave yet again may not be that fair. Commitment issues maybe? I don't know, and until you do then single is the way to go, so you don't have to make promises you don't want to keep.