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    amalcutie's Avatar
    amalcutie Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 29, 2011, 03:30 PM
    He says that its not the way it used to be 3 years ago
    I'm a mother of 2 and my partner and I are the same age (29). He had to travel last week on business so we decided to spend a few days alone at a hotel while the kids stayed with my mum. I wanted us to have quality time together so I did a few things that I thought would be fun. I did a video for him and initiated sex most of the time. We had a talk of recent and he asked what I though of the sex we had and I said it was good and asked why he asked and he said it was bad. He said it didn't feel the same like 3 years ago when it was fun and I was involved. He said I don't participate and I just lay back and let him do all the work. It hurts to hear this from him but I know he loves me and wants sex better between us. What tips can you help me with to make it better and how do I handle his and not feel hurt that my partner isn't satisfied
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #2

    Aug 29, 2011, 04:09 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by amalcutie View Post
    What tips can you help me with t make it better and how do I handle his and not feel hurt that my partner isn't satisfied
    You'd be better off asking him that, he's the one complaining.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Aug 29, 2011, 06:55 PM
    Of course with kids at home and being tired things do change on a daily basis.

    But first is it true ? Have you become less involved ? If it is not true why would he think so ?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #4

    Aug 30, 2011, 08:42 AM
    How old are the children and how much time do you have for yourself?

    How turned on are you when you have sex? Are you mentally involved or just there?

    I know how difficult it can be to turn off mommy mode and let yourself have fun. Does he help out with the children so that you can relax and think about wanting sex so that you are in the mood and not just trying to convince yourself you are? Are you doing what a lot of couples do and trying to rush foreplay to get to the intercourse because you don't want to be interrupted?

    Communicate with each other work together. I am certain there are things you both can do to improve your sex life. So don't think it is just you or only his needs. When there are issues it usually take both partners working as a team to fix them.

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