[moganasandeep]

I met my lover through a social network, and we have been in a relationship for almost two years. I live in Malaysia and he lives in India, so it is a long distance relationship.

He has been cheated by girls in his previous relationships, and I had an ex who cheated on me as well. After about 6 months being in a relationship, he started doubting me, he always made a huge fuss about my guy friends. In the mean time I was having a hard time at my university. Eventually I had to withdraw from the course, delete my Facebook, dump all my friends (including my best friend), change my phone number, and join university again... basically I deleted everything in my life for him, then he started changing for me, and now he says he can't live without me... but I feel so uncomfortable with what I have done.

I think he loves the person who changed for him, and not the person he met 2 years ago. Nowadays I get really irritated whenever he comes around, and I sort of dislike him sometimes. I get so angry thinking about the things that he had done, but he reacts the opposite way. He is so patient in handling me, and he really wants me to change, and be happy with him. What should I do?

[amicon]

You should never have to change for another person.

He sounds emotionally controlling.

Time to show him the door!

[talaniman]

Accept that this "relationship" has run its course, and the thrill is gone, and you are no longer as ready, willing, and able to change for him.

Dump him, and try someone you don't have to change for, and is willing to love, and accept YOU, just the way you are, and the friends, and things you do.

Dump him and get your life back. That's what you do. Life is to short to waste time on a fool that wants to control everything in your life, so he can be happy.

And be more careful who you give your heart to, make sure they deserve it, and know what to do with it, next time.

[agh1990]

I'm not surprised you're irritated by him and dislike him, this man made you completely change who you are for him to be with you, and that's not fair. If you're a different person to how you were before, then he obviously can't have loved the person you used to be. And if you are still that old person, you surely can't go on for the rest of your life living a lie?

A man should love you for who you are. I can understand wanting to change the odd few things about a person, but you should never let someone else completely dictate your life and who you talk to.

Although it may not seem this way because you're with this man, there will be plenty of people out there that will love you for being exactly the way you are, so in my opinion, you need to stop wasting your time with someone who isn't willing to love you for who you already are.

[Homegirl 50]

You should not have to change for anybody. He is happy with you because he is controlling you. You are unhappy because you are not being yourself.
Break it off. The relationship has run it's course. His true colors have shown and they don't blend with yours.