[bexbex123]

Me and my ex boyfriend went out about 1 year ago, for the first time, and it broke up about 1 month. Later then in February, we got together again, and lasted about 3 months. Then I broke up with him. We still see each other around, as his mum goes out with my used to be step dad, and I see him most weeks.

When I saw my ex the other week, he told me that he still loved me, and I messed him around, as I only got back with him, as I broke up with my other ex, that I get on great with now. I did not do it for that
So what do you think I can do to make it better with us?

I am 15, and he 16.



Edited/T

[talaniman]

Just understand the poor guy is hurt, and wants you back, and NO, you didn't mess him around, he just has to learn how to accept the situation has changed and you no longer want to be his girl friend.

Just be honest, and hope he has the maturity to grasp that its over, but give him a chance to get there on his own.

[bexbex123]

Thank you for the reply
I have tried with him and tried to let him no that we will never get back together but he can not see that he says that we will never move on and he says that's it's my falte that's he's started drinking and smokeing (he did not do it when we were going out and as I made he stop)
Does anyone no if they is anything I can say to him to make him not hate me so much

[redhed35]

Its not your fault that he makes a choice to drink and smoke, that's his fault and his problem.

Give him plenty of space, don't keep trying to make thing better, he has to learn how to get over the break up on his own.

What he is saying to you now is emotional blackmail,trying to make you feel bad about his actions, it has nothing to do with you,in fact if it had, you would probably want him to cop the hell on and grow up.

[talaniman]

You should say nothing to him, because his mind is made up. He blames his misery on you, and when people don't listen to reason, hard as it is, you leave them alone to be miserable without you.

Part of growing up is learning to cope with disappointment, and he must learn. And you must learn you can't always make things better for someone else, and it may get worse if you try to hard. When someone tries to get something from you by guilt, that's manipulation, and that's something to stay away from.

He is responsible for what he does, NOT YOU!

[bexbex123]

Thank you I no you 2 people are right but ever though I do not love him anymore I hate to see him like it and I will give him space see how he cops but he as never been any good at takeing upset as I he gets stessed out and finds it hard to cop with it all

[redhed35]

Your not responsible for his happiness, your not responsible for him full stop.

Think of this as a good learning curve for him, if you keep trying to help him how will he ever learn on his own, plus, it won't do him any harm to know he can't maniplulate people and think its OK, he has a lot of growing up to do, leave him too it.

Now is a good time for you too, your learning about relationships and how they work, now you know that you won't put up with someone trying to emotionally blackmail you, you have learned its not your fault when someone else makes a bad decision, the second last lesson in this ex relationship is moving on, learn those lessons now and it will save you a lot of heartache and headaches down the road.

The relationship is over, if you keep trying to help him your interfering in the healing process and it will just go on and on.

The last lesson is let it go, meet up with your friends and have some fun.

[bexbex123]

redhed35 - you are right I will
But I have to see him tonight as we are all going two a party and I no he will be they but I am going as it a friends birthday I no he will get out of it as he is that sort of person and I do not want to see him like that as it hurts
Thanks

[redhed35]

Go to the party, have fun, you need to let this go...

Have you ever noticed how much drama is around teenage relationship's, don't get pulled into anything, don't get dragged into any explainations, you have done it.

Look, its good that you have empathy for his hurt, but your giving him false hope if you keep talking it over with him, do you really want this to drag out for weeks maybe months?

Your 15 school will be back soon, have some fun! If he wants to be a dreary ar$e let him, that's not your problem, stay with your friends enjoy the party.

[bexbex123]

Threads merged with previous one about the same guy.
I will
Thanks for your help


Me and ex have to meet up tonight so please can you gave me some help for him was that it will not be so bad for meeting up
What do you think will be the best thing to say to him about us?
Thanks

[talaniman]

If he runs the guilt trip, tell him to be real, grow up, and get over it. If you allow him to play this game, then you will get more of it.

[bexbex123]

Well you were all right I had a good time they with my friends my friends birthday party that it was had a good time
I was right about my ex he did get drunk and made a fool of himself but as you say it is up to him what he does now