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keb'smom · Aug 11, 2011, 01:48 PM

I have a 5 yr old daughter whose biological father stays in and out of jail her whole life. He has never did anything for her except bring $5.00 in change and told me to go get her pullups myself when she was 2. The guy I've been with for 4 years has been taking care of her and wants to adopt her and give her his benefits. He and I have 2 girls together and he takes really good care of them and makes sure all 3 girls are taken care of and myself. I live in Southwest, ga. Mind you he and I are in this for the long haul we are going to get married oneday but are taking our time. Do I have to be married to my boyfriend before he can adopt my 5 yr old?

Fr_Chuck · Aug 11, 2011, 03:15 PM

In Georgia yes, they will want you married and married for at least one year. ** esp in SW Georgia

Next you will have to contact your ex and get him to sign his rights over to allow the adoption ( easier route) since you appear not to be going after him for child support, often they have little reason to sign over rights, when they are being hounded for support, they are often happier to sign over rights

Also GA does allow rights to be taken away for LONG TERM prison sentence, so not sure how long he has been in jail, and if they will consider all his time together.

twinkiedooter · Aug 11, 2011, 03:59 PM

Yes you must be married for any kind of adoption to take place. Why not get married? Why drag your feet? After all you DO have 2 more kids. This makes no sense to me whatsoever how young people think they don't need a marriage in place and still have a family. You have no "cushion" to fall back on should he decide to up and leave or die.

keb'smom · Aug 11, 2011, 06:54 PM

He has been in prison since she was 2 months old and got out in 2008 then went back to prison and got out in 2010 then 2 months later went back to prison and gets out in 2012 has saw her 3 times since she was born she is now 5 going on 6

keb'smom · Aug 11, 2011, 07:00 PM

And to twinkiedooter: I'm getting married but I'm taking my time. That has nothing to do with the qustion I asked. I have my answer and I will go around the biological father and do it my own way. Thanks for the advice FR chuck

keb'smom · Aug 11, 2011, 07:03 PM

Every time I try to get child support he gets locked up again. They told me I couldn't get CS with him in prison so I gave up trying because I can't get it anyway so my fiancé stepped up to the plate when she was a 1 yr old and has helped me all this time.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 11, 2011, 08:11 PM

Well? No if he has no bank account or money on the outside, you can not get child support while in prison. But if you have a child support order in place, the father knows the minute he ever gets a job outside the prison ( if he ever does) you can come after him.

I think his long term prison and criminal history may be enough for some GA courts, remember the term is vague and different courts and judges rule personally on it differently,

And this will not happen without an attorney, to many hoops to jump though

Synnen · Aug 12, 2011, 05:53 AM

Originally Posted by keb'smom

and to twinkiedooter: I"m getting married but I'm taking my time. That has nothing to do with the qustion I asked. I have my answer and I will go around the biological father and do it my own way. Thanks for the advice FR chuck

Actually, yes, it DOES have bearing on the question you asked.

Why in the world would a court make a PERMANENT, LEGAL connection between your child and some guy when YOU won't make a permanent, legal connection to him.

He's good enough for your kid, but not for you?

GV70 · Aug 12, 2011, 07:18 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

Actually, yes, it DOES have bearing on the question you asked.

Why in the world would a court make a PERMANENT, LEGAL connection between your child and some guy when YOU won't make a permanent, legal connection to him.

He's good enough for your kid, but not for you?

Out of greenies I cannot agree more!

twinkiedooter · Aug 12, 2011, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

Actually, yes, it DOES have bearing on the question you asked.

Why in the world would a court make a PERMANENT, LEGAL connection between your child and some guy when YOU won't make a permanent, legal connection to him.

He's good enough for your kid, but not for you?

That's what I said exactly. Some women who "like to take their time getting married" give me a pain in the situpon. I think it's the man who does not want to rush into anything. I have YET to meet a woman who does not want to get married.

GV70 · Aug 13, 2011, 04:23 AM

That thread must be closed.
The OP is out of the rules of this site.She is not interested in the legal side of the question. She wants to hear what she thinks is right to her.

ScottGem · Aug 13, 2011, 04:37 AM

Comments on this post
keb'smom does not find this helpful : person got on my nerves

Originally Posted by keb'smom

and to twinkiedooter: I"m getting married but I'm taking my time. That has nothing to do with the qustion I asked. I have my answer and I will go around the biological father and do it my own way. Thanks for the advice FR chuck

Yes this has everything to do with your question. Most areas do not allow a step parent adoption unless you have been married for a year. They WILL want to look at a stable committed relationship and the failure to marry. Will be a telling point.

On another note, an negative rating should only be given when there is an issue of an incorrect or inaccurate response. Not because it annoys you.