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patigirl · Apr 25, 2008, 06:59 AM

My boyfriend of 6 years and the father of my 2 year old wants to adopt my 9 month old daughter. My boyfriend and I split up for a few months and I was with someone else, got pregnant. 2 weeks after the baby was born, her biological father took off. He has contacted me once when she was 3 months old. My boyfriend is the only father she has ever known, he and I would like to make it legal. How do I start this process?

JudyKayTee · Apr 25, 2008, 07:19 AM

Originally Posted by patigirl

My boyfriend of 6 years and the father of my 2 year old wants to adopt my 9 month old daughter. My boyfriend and I split up for a few months and I was with someone else, got pregnant. 2 weeks after the baby was born, her biological father took off. He has contacted me once when she was 3 months old. My boyfriend is the only father she has ever known, he and I would like to make it legal. How do I start this process?

You would have to prove attempts to locate the father or else locate him and he would have to consent to the child's adoption. I presume he's the known father?

I am not aware of any jurisdiction that will allow an unmarried couple to adopt a child. Someone recently posted that couples married less than one year cannot be considered.

stinawords · Apr 25, 2008, 08:03 AM

Judy is right and some states are VERY strict on the have to be married for full year first. This is because they are looking out for the kid's best interests in giving them a strong, stable family (not that you wouldn't be) but that is the reasoning behind it.

Synnen · Apr 25, 2008, 08:05 AM

Talk to a family lawyer.

You will probably need one anyway to go through the court process of adopting, but a family lawyer in your area would know the ins and outs of EXACTLY what you'd need to do for your boyfriend to adopt.

macksmom · Apr 26, 2008, 04:42 AM

A judge is not going to allow a boyfriend to adopt... you would have to be married, and in some states married for a year.

Once you are married, then get an attorney. You will need the consent of the bio father unless there had been no contact AND no child support for a year (this time may vary). Then you could petition to have the bio fathers rights terminated based on abandonment to allow for your husband to adopt. But keep in mind BOTH of the previous things have to be happening... if he is paying child support you won't be able to go that route... even if he hasn't seen the child.

Best advice... wait. The bio father doesn't seem to be exercising his parental rights anyway.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 26, 2008, 05:37 AM

Well in all respect to everyone, some states do allow "partners" to adopt, even same sex partners so marriage is not always a "MUST"
But it is in some states in the US. The one thing they do look for is long term relationship at least and the current break up, baby with other man, does not show a steady good relationship to a judge. So they will want to see a loger non break up time at least. Plus as noted many states do want the couple to be married.

The adoption process is very detailed, so an attorney will be needed. The bio father will have to be contacted and asked to sign over his rights. Since this is the one way to stop paying child support, normally dead beat type dads will be glad to sign to get out of their child support payments.
** so if you are not getting him to pay, that may be considered.