[student5433]

My ex is not willing to just go to the notary office and sign the affidavit. She tells me that I will have visitation rights but that her future husband will adopt my daughter so she can have health insurance. I know that a step parent for the most part can put step children on their insurance but she just thinks I'm making it up. I'm limited on my funds since I'm a full time student part time landscaper. Is there any advice for me?

[Wondergirl]

I'm confused. Do you want to retain your rights as father, or do you want to allow your ex's husband to adopt your daughter? Also, the ex and the boyfriend will have to be married for probably a year before he could legally adopt.

[Fr_Chuck]

Her boyfriend can not adopt your child if you do not want it or do not sign for it to happen.

Just tell her that, and then visit legal aid and get child visitation in writing.

[AK lawyer]

... She tells me that I will have visitation rights but that her future husband will adopt my daughter ...

You won't have any rights, including visitation rights, unless you appear in the adoption court. And she seems to be under the impression that she won't have to give you notice of that unless the affidavit of paternity is signed. She is mistaken. She will have to prove to the court what efforts she has made to contact you, or whoever is the biological father.

Of course she very well may lie and say that she doesn't know who the father is. For that reason, you need to register on the putative father registry, if your state has one.

[student5433]

I'm sorry if that was confusing I am the biological father but my ex is not wanting to go with me to the notary office to sign the affidavit. I don't really have the extra funds to spend in court fees but I'm thinking its my only options. My daughter is just a month old now.

[GV70]

I'm sorry if that was confusing I am the biological father but my ex is not wanting to go with me to the notary office to sign the affidavit. I don't really have the extra funds to spend in court fees but I'm thinking its my only options. My daughter is just a month old now.

There are two ways to establish paternity :
1.by signing a voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity form; or
2.by petitioning a court to determine paternity.

[ScottGem]

First ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

What makes you think she needs to go with you? All that may be necessary is for you to sign the affidavits of paternity and file it with the proper authority. But it is possible she needs to sign and won't. In that case, you will need to petition in family court to be named the legal father. If you are a full time student check if your school has a law school. They may be able to help you with the paperwork.

Also did you check the link AK gave you?

[student5433]

I'm in Kentucky but on the border of Indiana and my daughter is in Indiana. I did check the link AK gave me but at this moment my ex doesn't have anyone to adopt my daughter only that she intends her future husband to adopt her. For things to go cheaper she has to be with me at the notary office the other way is going to be expensive which is something I don't really have.

[ScottGem]

I'm in Kentucky but on the border of Indiana and my daughter is in Indiana. I did check the link AK gave me but at this moment my ex doesn't have anyone to adopt my daughter only that she intends her future husband to adopt her. For things to go cheaper she has to be with me at the notary office the other way is going to be expensive which is something I don't really have.

You didn't read it carefully enough. The purpose of the registry it to provide a place for the courts to check if there is a person claiming paternity. You NEED to register so, in case she tries to get an adoption done on the sneak, you will have a chance of being notified.

If the child was born and resides in IN, then IN has jurisdiction. You can find the applicable law here:
Indiana Code 16-37-2

Indiana does require that the mother sign, so if she refuses, then you need to go to court to establish paternity. And you need to register with the putative father's registry to protect yourself.

[student5433]

I want to thank everyone with your help. I notarized my Putative Fathers form today and I feel a lot better now. Now I have some more time to save up and file to be her legal father.

[ScottGem]

I want to thank everyone with your help. I notarized my Putative Fathers form today and I feel a lot better now. Now I have some more time to save up and file to be her legal father.

Let the mother know you have done this. Let her know you will do everything in your power to be a part of your child's life. Maybe she will realize your resolve and not make it so hard.

Good luck to you and keep us posted.

[GV70]

Let the mother know you have done this. Let her know you will do everything in your power to be a part of your child's life

Not enough!